Whoa, Kaitlyn and Nick’s Relationship Before The Bachelorette Was Way More …

14 Jul 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘The Bachelorette’ recap: Meet the final two and their families.

After giving Kaitlyn Bristowe free rein to choose the man of her dreams, the free-spirited “Bachelorette” has narrowed it down to two finalists: Shawn, a whiny personal trainer from Connecticut, and Nick, the most loathsome contestant of the season — and quite possibly of all time. Instead, let’s start with the second overnight date with the (likely) next “Bachelor.” Kaitlyn and Ben H., who I think is the next “Bachelor,” meet outside of a castle, and we learn their date is to ride horses together.

Following their sexy overnight date inside an Irish castle, the blue-eyed beauty barely shed a tear as she said goodbye to the 26-year-old software salesman. (He’s rumored to be the next star of “The Bachelor.”) “I’ll miss that girl. I’ll miss her a lot,” Ben says as he rides away into the sunset, er, darkness. “I have zero doubt that Kaitlyn and I could have had something great.

There’s not a question in my mind that I was falling in love with her, but now it’s over.” Once Kaitlyn sends the new “Bachelor” on his way, she rejoins Nick and Shawn for a champagne toast. Ben H. tells Kaitlyn that he turned 26 while the show was being filmed, and she responds with, “I’m about to be 30” before making a cougar joke. I just turned 30 this year, and the thought of dating a new-to-26-year-old sounds more miserable than listening to Shawn B. stress about being insecure and jealous for five minutes.

As they pull away in the golf cart, a hilarious shot of Shawn’s stupid fancy socks appears, and my feelings of love return — for the “Bachelorette” producers. Before their golf-game date, Kaitlyn teases, “If I win, I get whatever I ask for, and if you win, I get whatever I ask for.” I finally think Kaitlyn took my advice and read “Dating 101.” At least for now. She tells the cameras, “I’m not leaving here until he strips down naked and that sun is going down fast, so, it’s comin’ up … if ya know what I mean.” Because we have the same sense of humor.

A giggling Kaitlyn tells him he is going to get a black box, and his response is “I’ve always wanted a black box on TV,” which makes me laugh so hard I have to pause the TV for a minute. Kaitlyn sees that Shawn is really upset, so she tells those watching that she wants to “figure this out off camera” and hands him the fantasy suite card. Shawn immediately reacts like the tough bro he wants to be, while Nick explains he would like an opportunity to respond to some of the things Shawn said when he creepily visited Nick the day before. But clearly that’s me because they go inside to have essentially the same argument they just had, only a little more heated after Kaitlyn ratted Nick out to Shawn. She starts crying, and walks away asking for “just two seconds.” When those two seconds (um, four minutes) are up, she returns to the remaining three and calls Nick’s name first.

We watch them pace around a room for what feels like forever, and I wonder why they need permission to leave, because this is even awkward from my couch. Nick introduces Kaitlyn to his father, Chris; his mother, Mary; his sister Maria; brother Luke; brother James; brother Sam; sister Teress; sister Olivia and, of course, sister Bella. Sister Maria takes Kaitlyn aside first and asks her how her relationship with Nick is different from her relationship with Chris, Prince Farming from last season. Sister Bella’s up next, and she starts with “What is Vancouver like?” followed by, “Do you love Nick?” to which Kaitlyn responds, “I knew that was coming,” because Sister Bella asked Andi the same question the last time Nick was on this show. The episode ends with Kaitlyn crying because she doesn’t know what to do. “Torn Between Two Lovers” is what I would call this episode if I were in charge.

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