The Bachelorette Recap: Kupah Doesn’t Understand Boundaries and Ben Z …

26 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘The Bachelorette’ Recap: Punch Drunk Love.

During the mingling portion of the group date after the guys learn some stand-up comedy from Amy Schumer, Tony begins speaking with Kaitlyn about Britt.A shocking moment happened at the end of tonight’s episode of and there wasn’t even time to get to the rose ceremony, though someone was sent home.

Remember last week, rose lovers, when we waited with bated breath to learn which of the two “ladies” — Britt or Kaitlyn — would earn the honor of dumping 24 guys (hey, maybe even 25!) on The Bachelorette?I want to start off this Memorial Day week blog by taking a moment to thank the men and women who serve our country so bravely in our armed services and to those that have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom.Tonight, “The Bachelorette” reminded us of many things, including that JJ is incredibly smug, Tony is completely out there, and Clint got himself off to a great start courtesy of the first one-on-one date.’s journey on “The Bachelorette” truly began on Monday’s episode, though not without ousted would-be Bachelorette Britt Nilsson getting a surprise first.

After the guy started questioning her feelings towards him and the way the dates work on the show, Kaitlyn said she no longer feels a connection with him. As Gossip Cop reported, the season 11 men voted Bristowe to be the “Bachelorette” on part two of last week’s season premiere, leaving Nilsson shocked. Anyhow, Chris Harrison keeps it strictly professional, grilling Kaitlyn about her serial smooching on night one, and whether or not she’s insecure knowing that several of the remaining guys voted for Britt. The show decided to instead leave us on a cliffhanger featuring Kaitlyn Bristowe going out to confront Kupah James, who she had already eliminated for basically talking his way out of being in her favor.

I think you’re hot and you’re sexy and you’re pretty,” Kupah said after he was told to go home. “Well there’s more to me than that,” Kaitlyn replied. “It’s week one and we’re already in this position. There he offered Nilsson a hug, and said he wanted to “start” something “really great.” As that was filmed earlier this year, it was later revealed Nilsson and Brady have been dating ever since, and are now officially a couple. It’s bad,” Kaitlyn replied. “Do you think it would be fair if I kept you around when I’m feeling this way or do you think it’s fair that I don’t put you through a rose ceremony and that I’m saying you can go now.

My early vote: Back at Casa Bachelorette, the guys are sort of naturally dividing into two cliques: Britt’s Boys (Jonathan, Kupah, Daniel, Tony) and Everyone Else (Cupcake, Clint, Cory, Corey, Daniel, Ian, Jared, JJ, Joe, Joshua, Justin, Ryan, Shawn, Tanner). I’m sorry.” After Kupah walked out the door, it appears that he got into a fight with someone on the crew who was trying to get an exit interview out of him. And just when you think we’re going to make nearly 10 minutes into the episode without being subjected to a single shot of Britt crying… well, you’re wrong.

I know many of you were very upset about the two bachelorette idea; it will be interesting to see how you feel about this now that you have actually seen what really happened. After meeting at a boxing gym, the men found out they were getting training from none other than Laila Ali, who later revealed the guys would have to compete in one-on-one sudden death matches. Also, he told the story about losing his mother, and the two of them are further along already in the relationship than the majority of the other people this season. Kupah also starts the drama when he questions Kaitlyn as to why she hasn’t been acknowledging him…which Kaitlyn also wanted to question him about as to why he hasn’t been connecting with her.

Buck up, Britt: One of your would-be suitors has arrived to close out your storyline give you the happy ending you were hoping for. “I thought maybe after last night, you might need a hug,” Brady says, settling his lanky frame on the sofa in Britt’s hotel room. Given that Tony was not eliminated tonight, that means we get one more episode getting to see some of his unique personality … which some probably just find to be insane. Ben Z’s prize was extra time with Bristowe, which he used at the after-party to open up about his mom dying of cancer when he was 14 and how it made him “grow up really fast.” Bristowe was talking to Daniel when she received a surprise note that said, “Come outside right now. Personally, we file it under “entertaining.” He hasn’t had a whole lot of time with just Kaitlyn, so we have not seen exactly what their connection is.

I need to see you.” Waiting for her was Jared, who squeezed in a few moments (and a kiss) with Bristowe before he went to the show’s mansion to rest. One-on-One Date – Kaitlyn took Clint Arlis and his amazing head of hair off on some date that was mostly a photo shoot / chemistry test: Having to take photos while dressed up underwater. The limos drop the dudes off at the abandoned set of a CrossFit informercial, where Kaitlyn is swatting pathetically at a heavy bag as pro boxer Laila Ali watches with what I can only imagine is deep dismay. It was my first time meeting her and I was really struck at how gentle and sweet she is, but at the same time there was no doubt she could at any time literally knock my head off.

For the episode’s second group date, Bristowe met Chris, Ian, JJ, Joe, Jonathan, Joshua, and Tony at the Improv Comedy Club, where Amy Schumer dissed Soules, joked about wanting to hook up with the contestants, and schooled the guys on stand-up. While some of the bachelors are perfectly comfortable pounding things with their fists (Ben Z.) others can’t jump rope without breaking a perfectly good window (Ben H.) But really, all Kaitlyn cares about is which guys make the effort to talk to her… which is pretty much everyone but Kupah, who is focused on nothing but punching things.

After their competitors took punches earlier, these guys were challenged to deliver their own punch lines, and make Bristowe and a live audience (which actually included Justin Long, see pic above) laugh. I definitely enjoyed channelling my inner Michael Buffer. (He’s the famous ring announcer that makes a crapload of money by saying “let’s get ready to ru**le!” I’d spell the whole phrase out for you but I’m afraid I’d have to pay Buffer ten grand. I think I may have finally found a guy whose gig is easier than mine!) Ben Z was easily the biggest guy on this date and he’s also pretty athletic, so it was clear he’d be tough to beat. Tony continued to be awkwardly serious afterward during a chat with Bristowe, whereas JJ was serious in a touching way, talking about his 3-year-old daughter. I’m not sure you’d call what these two were doing in the ring “boxing” — it was more like “frantically bitch-slapping each other with closed fists.” Round 3: Ben H. versus Jared.

She pulled him aside and told him she had to “let [him] go,” which he thought was “unfair,” and they argued whether fighting this early in the game should mean it was over for him. Surprisingly, in the Battle of the Middleweight Emo-Dudes, it’s Jared — he of the frustratingly haphazard facial hair — who emerges victorious, after felling Other Ben with a wicked right hook.

And that’s when the episode announced, “To Be Continued.” During the episode, Bristowe tweeted, “I dare any woman or man, to not kiss the opposite sex when looking for a life partner. And indeed, Jared does get his bell rung — hard. “I feel terrible,” laments Kaitlyn, as Jared’s legs buckle and he collapses on the canvas. “I really didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” Then perhaps next time you bring a bunch of Alpha dogs on a date you shouldn’t put them in a ring and tell them to punch each other. She and Kaitlyn hit it off like they’d known each other for years, and it was funny to see Amy become like a protective big sister of Kaitlyn during the stand-up comedy date. So it’s off to the hospital with Jared and his lethargic pupils, while Kaitlyn takes the rest of her bruised and broken men to a hotel bar for the date-after-the-date — where she wants to focus on “making connections” with the guys. Most of the guys did the best they could and made the best of an extremely difficult date, but there were two guys that really stood out, and not in a good way.

But just as Daniel is about to tell Kaitlyn all about his “furniture and design clothing company” in walks a waiter with a mysterious note for the Bachelorette. Unclear, but by the look on her face, it’s not welcome news: Perhaps someone just informed her that Daniel charges $480 for THIS on his website. (Not clear if that includes the woman, or the sailor cap.) “Uh….

And no, Jared explains, he couldn’t have just come upstairs and said hello like a normal person — the doctors ordered him to “rest,” though Team Bachelorette was kind enough to allow him a drive-by date. “I just wanted to see you and tell you that I’m fine,” says Jared, who proves it by going in for a kiss. And, side note: The next morning, the Bachelorette picks up Clint in her cute little red Mercedes and they head out to a lovely yellow hillside villa for… an underwater photo shoot. After running through a few touchy-feely breathing exercises with the photographer, Clint and Kaitlyn jump hand-in-hand into the pool — which made me sad for her sparkly sequined minidress, which I’m guessing is dry-clean only.

His conversation with Kaitlyn was like watching a fireman repeatedly run into a burning building to throw gasoline instead of water onto a raging fire. Clint nods and smiles, and accepts the date rose with a grunted, “Yeah, I will.” Meanwhile, back at the house, Tony the Spiritual Gangster is having a bit of a hard time keeping things straight. That’s right, it’s time for group date number two, and instead of throwing punches, these seven guys — JJ, Jonathan, Joshua, Chris, Ian, Joe and Tony — are going to be throwing punchlines. (Wow, that was just a terrible segue.

Let me tell you what a woman definitely wants to hear when she’s pissed off and trying to have a serious conversation with a man: “I think you’re hot!” That might’ve been the single worst-timed line ever on this show. Normally I’m not a fan of celebrity guests on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, but Amy Schumer’s brutal honesty (to JJ, who thinks he’s “smarter” than the audience: “I want to make you feel better — you’re not”) is a thing of beauty.

Even after Tony’s routine/slow-motion nervous breakdown, Kaitlyn seems giddy about how well the date is going. “I was so impressed,” she raves to the guys at the cocktail party. “Cheers!” Yeah, drink up, honey, because if you think Joshua’s declaration that he’s a “love virgin” is the most awkward thing that’s going to happen tonight, you are sorely mistaken. To be honest, though, I would have preferred to watch another 20 minutes of Tony chanting “Little THIS way, little this way, ” while twirling an imaginary combination lock if it meant not having to see JJ sucking face with Kaitlyn. Meanwhile I hope the Bachelorette brought her Listerine strips, because her mouth has a long night of work ahead of it — especially after Joe tells her that he “didn’t even talk to Britt.” But it’s JJ who gets the rose. He takes Kaitlyn outside to share the story of his accident and inspiring recovery, etc. “It really taught me that I can do anything that I put my mind to,” he says. “So I’m putting my mind to this now.

But Kupah’s not finished: Their first conversation, he tells Kaitlyn, kinda sucked because she was “looking all around the room” and not at him. And, “I don’t want to be here because I look good on the roster of men that you still keep around.” On the one hand, kudos to Kupah for being bold enough to call Team Bachelorette out on the “token brown guy” tradition… but on the other hand, did Kaitlyn herself really deserve to be accused of tokenism after one group date, during which he clearly made no effort to “connect” with her? And no amount of scrambling Kupah does — “Your eyes are awesome”; “You’re a pretty girl”; “I wanna be here” — is going to get him out of the hole he’s dug for himself. But no — he’s still got to complete his exit interview, and Kupah is most definitely a hostile witness. “Just ask me the questions and let me go home!” he barks at the producer. “Please, please give me that!” Kaitlyn, suddenly fearful for the safety and well-being of the camera equipment, or something, bolts up from her confessional and heads outside to… what?

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