The Bachelorette Recap: Fantasy Suites and Family Friction

14 Jul 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘The Bachelorette’ recap: Kaitlyn chooses her final two.

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, where Kaitlyn’s path to love is taking her on a tour of the Irish countryside and straight to the Fantasy Suites with her three remaining suitors — Shawn, Ben H., and repeat offender Nick.

He may be fairly young at 26, but he’s also an absolute class act who may actually be too good for this show, and perhaps this world, and definitely all sweaters. They’ve pissed each other off, they’ve pissed us off and they’ve even pissed our Bachelorette off. “Nick and Shawn hate each other,” Kaitlyn Bristowe said on Monday’s episode of The Bachelorette. “It’s actually taking away from what I feel about both of them.” “I just hope Kaitlyn’s as smart as I think it is,” he said before the rose ceremony. “It’s hard for me to imagine that she keeps us both after this. We’d also like to suggest that he be given a horse sidekick to keep him company throughout the season, because we were definitely digging that little convo he had with Archie, his feisty horse friend.

That’s the only thing getting me through right now,” Kaitlyn Bristowe admitted as the Bachelorette drama reached its peak in Ireland this week, just two weeks short of the finale. Because it’s about time for us to catch up with Nick and Shawn as they sort of raise their voices at each other while staying seated a full 20 feet apart. The ever-mounting animosity between season finalists Nick Viall and Shawn Booth stretched beyond its inevitable breaking point during the round of overnight dates when tensions and truths surfaced. The Drama: Shawn has decided that it’s time to talk to Nick and accuse him of not being there for the right reasons, but to his face for once and not just behind his back. That date, during which they rode horses, were chased by donkeys, and dined in a castle before settling into a private suite, was one that we would have loved to be on.

Before her fantasy suite date with Ben H., Kaitlyn called him “hot” and “sweet” and every girl in America let out a collective “DUHHHHHHHHH!” Because he IS absolutely adorable. While Shawn fought his nemesis with aggressive tones and name-calling, Nick matched his ammo with low blows that consisted of attempts in tarnishing Sean’s reputation with their leading lady. Picking back up on Enniskillen Island — a honeymoon locale if I’ve ever heard one — Shawn and Nick are continuing their seated confrontation, where they might as well be saying, “No, you’re manipulative, arrogant, and cocky!” “No, you are!” Things get slightly more interesting when Nick says his two favorite words to Shawn — Eskimo brothers — but Shawn decides that Nick is an inconsiderate bleep, claims he wasn’t bragging about anything, and then gets up and walks away with his amazing tight T-shirt, leaving Nick and his stupid Irish sweater alone.

His began with Kaitlyn riding a horse for the first time, which was kind of brilliant, as far as dates go. “I’ve got these two guys acting like they’re in high school, and having this feud, and wasting precious time,” Kaitlyn told Chris Harrison, “And then I’ve got Ben, who’s just the greatest. Yep, Ben H. was sadly rejected by Kaitlyn at this season’s final rose ceremony, and half our heart broke for him while the other half was pretty excited that he is now single.

Heading from Cork to Galway, Kaitlyn is focused on her overnight date with so-hot-it’s-ridiculous Ben, whose tight pants and dorky sweater confirm what Kaitlyn says about Mr. During their date, Kaitlyn and Ben H. did A LOT of kissing and had a picnic overlooking a castle where they actually got to spend their enchanted evening! No question in my mind, I think Ben would make a great husband.” “My heart is beating out of my chest right now,” she said, clearly exaggerating, given her dress was cut down to her waist and you could see, well, her entire chest. According to Kaitlyn, Ben is “easy and nice,” because those words just shout “I’m falling in love.” (Also, sadly for Kaitlyn, Ben doesn’t seem to be “easy.”) And if anything ever said “friend zone,” it’s the fact that Ben and Kaitlyn have matching Irish sweaters … and not on purpose. But there was still something missing in their union as the week’s rose ceremony approached and Kaitlyn was left to make an impossible choice. “It just feels like a painful decision.

It was clearly getting to Kaitlyn too, because her idea of a date with Shawn was forcing him to wear a pink shirt and then nothing at all to play a round of golf. I just have to keep going back to how I feel in my heart and my gut,” Kaitlyn said about her costly resolution to narrow down the pack from “three unbelievable guys” to her final two. Regardless, she enjoys Ben’s “calming presence” as they have a picnic outside of a castle designed by the architect responsible for Buckingham Palace. Because Kaitlyn’s not dumb, she asked Ben H. to stay over, but she wanted to make sure he was entirely comfortable with the situation. (Remember, last week she thought he was a virgin for a hot sec.) I had a great time with Ben last night. They talk about life, and Ben decides that starting a life together sounds “fun.” Flash-forward to dinner inside the beautiful castle, and Ben shows up wearing the male version of Kaitlyn’s daytime sweater.

I’ll miss her a lot,” Ben said somberly, as the van pulled away. “I have zero doubt that Kaitlyn and I could have had something great.” Only the two rivals remained heading into the hometown dates as Kaitlyn and her potential-husbands trekked to Utah to meet the families of her final suitors. Despite the families’ obvious weariness and skepticism about the process initially, Kaitlyn’s spunky personality made it quite easy to get along with both relations as she quickly made herself at home in each unit. In the end, Kaitlyn came out victorious and wanted to play “Truth or Dare.” When Shawn strips down, he’s wearing long underwear (It was a “a tough laundry day,” he said) and revealed his rock solid 8-pack (“Seriously, it’s like you’re photoshopped,” I thought when watching.) Kaitlyn also brought up the weird Eskimo brothers-Shawn situation that Nick kept talking about.

Not only did both companies admit they could see Kaitlyn as a member of their household in a matter of minutes, both men topped off their respective dates by professing their unwavering love for the bachelorette. He’d earlier told Kaitlyn that Shawn had bragged about being “eskimo brothers” with a friend (I’ll leave that to you to Google) and basically cut Shawn down in front of her. Even after two picture-perfect days however, the blessings from both sides seemed more like a weight on Kaitlyn’s shoulders as she began to internally battle over her tough final decision ahead. “My emotions are so intense with two people. Then, Nick waited outside after Shawn and Kaitlyn’s overnight date, in a way that wasn’t creepy at all, and there was definitely nothing creepy or horror movie-like about his, “Hello, Shawn.” The two of them had it out again, and it was all the same crap they’ve always been arguing about. I’m so confused,” she said, overwhelmed by frustration. “I don’t know what to do, how to do it – I don’t know.” Next week, Kaitlyn comes face-to-face with the season’s ex-beaus who confront the bachelorette during the always entertaining The Men Tell All special.

The couple shares a trip down memory lane, remembering all three of their dates together before Kaitlyn decides they’re “so cute” and Ben calls her “unique” because he’s great at compliments. They are going golfing, and Kaitlyn has a good enough swing that Shawn ticks it off “the checklist of wife material.” She beats him soundly at the game, and for her prize she orders him to strip down.

Nick’s family was understandably concerned about Nick going through this show for a second time, but they definitely liked Kaitlyn, and she seemed to pass the test with Nick’s younger sister, Bella. Things got just the tiniest bit weird when Nick was defending his decision to do the show again by describing Kaitlyn’s best traits, which included being “great at making out.” That’s a great skill to have, but she’s got to have some other aspects you can tell your mom about, right? Kaitlyn suggested he cover his manhood with that “little glove of his, no large glove of his”, but instead he was protected by that famous black box. Sweetheart Ben was eliminated and girls everywhere signed up for the next season of “The Bachelor” (Not really, but I’m Team Ben for becoming the next bachelor.) Kaitlyn met Nick’s big family first, who were all a little skeptical.

Kaitlyn admits that she and Shawn have had the most ups and downs of any of her relationships, but instead of seeing it as a giant red flag, she seems to thrive on it. After their confrontation, Nick said Shawn wasn’t being a man since he wouldn’t have a conversation with him and continued to verbally beat him up a little.

Ben informs Kaitlyn that it totally sucks that she’s dating other people, but he’s falling for her, so yes, he’s ready for the “best sleepover ever.” (Kaitlyn and Ben have very different definitions of what that means.) The next morning, Kaitlyn reveals that she only got a half hour of sleep — so Ben told at least five stories — but her big takeaway from the night is that she didn’t expect to fall in love with Ben. When it was Kaitlyn’s turn for the hot seat, Nick’s siblings and mother asked her about her feelings for Nick and how it’s different from the other guys she has dated. When Nick sat down with his mom to talk about Kaitlyn, he explained to her that his feelings for this bachelorette are much different than those he had last season for Andi. Maybe we’ve become so jaded at this point in our television-watching career that those words mean nothing to us anymore, but that was a weird let down.

It was a little more awkward, given they’d been through this before and seen him left devastated by Andi. “When Nick called me and told me he was going back on The Bachelorette, I was like, oh, no, just because watching Nick go through it last time it was hard to see him broken-hearted,” said his sister Maria, as his mom and little sister cried. “It was a lot. Kaitlyn didn’t say “I love you back,” and then she left, and then Shawn cried, and Kaitlyn cried, despite how well everything just went, and because of how well everything just went. And to think about, oh my gosh, we might be going down that road again, there is definitely some apprehensions.” Said his mom, Mary: “He went through a lot. Cue the “golf is a lot like love” speech, in which Shawn says it’s “something you can do until you’re old and gray.” Because, you know, old people can love too. Here’s hoping Ian continues to be egotistical, we finally learn the truth about “Brokeback Bachelor” and Kansas City’s Tanner Tolbert reveals some juicy secrets.

She also — and fair enough — said she can’t imagine someone putting Nick through this again, if she wasn’t going to pick him. “I say to myself, I can’t imagine Kaitlyn bringing him all this way to break his heart, but that’s not fair of me to say, I’m just being a protective mom,” she told Kaitlyn. “I wouldn’t if I didn’t see a future with Nick,” Kaitlyn reassured her. “I really wouldn’t, that is something that I do consider and think about.” Nick’s youngest sister Bella — who won hearts everywhere when she quizzed Andi — asked Kaitlyn if she loved her brother. “I care about your brother a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot,” said Kaitlyn. “I love the person he is. He makes me happy.” Nick, a 34-year-old software sales executive, is trying not to be as cocky as he was in Andi’s season — but, like Shawn, he’s convinced Kaitlyn loves him. “Last time, I was so confident. Fresh out of her high school playbook, she wins and dares Shawn to streak “full-blown nakey” around the green … where there’s literally no one else. She tells Chris, “I don’t want to blindside anybody, but I’m going to.” When she goes to face her suitors she realizes it is the harshest round of F/M/K anyone could play, and she loses it and runs to the hallway to cry.

I’m completely ignoring that he was basically wearing biking pants as underwear, and I’m choosing instead to focus on counting his abs. (Seems to be an even six.) Earning himself his very own black box — but is it bigger than Jillian’s?! Alright, it’s time for dinner, where Kaitlyn claims that Shawn needs to put his clothes on so that they can have a serious conversation. (And then take them off again.) Entering dinner to what I swear is the soundtrack of Titanic, dinner starts off full of laughing and smiling and all of Buddy the Elf’s favorite activities.

However, I will give Kaitlyn points in this situation, because when Shawn goes to explain what happened “that night,” she stops him, telling him that he doesn’t need to explain it to her. Staying level-headed, Kaitlyn sees his point, but she thinks this is probably a conversation meant for the off-camera environment of the fantasy suite. They then head into their suite, where she puts a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door and explains that “this night off-camera is HUGE.” No comment.

Kaitlyn tells them that Shawn caught her eye on the very first date and has never let him go, but she wants to know if Shawn is actually ready for marriage. Yes, they’re both still sitting, but at least Shawn tells Nick that if he hears his name come out of Nick’s mouth one more time with Kaitlyn, it’s “not gonna be pretty.” And cue Nick’s comeback, which consists of him repeating “Are you threatening me?” for the rest of the conversation.

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