The Bachelorette Recap: America Picks Its Bachelorette

20 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Head Bachelorette in Charge.

The Bachelorette’s face-off between Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson may have incited online criticism, but Bristowe – who was revealed to be the last standing woman on Tuesday night’s episode – says she doesn’t feel the premise went too far. “I definitely had my concerns and questions,” the 29-year-old former dance instructor tells PEOPLE. “But I don’t think I would have gone through with it if I thought it was just sexist.Bless Chris Harrison’s heart – the Bachelorette host did not keep us waiting when it came time to reveal whether Britt Nilsson or Kaitlyn Bristowe would be moving on as the Bachelorette.

Well, Bachelorette fans, it’s officially time to find out which lady we’re going to both be rooting for and judging harshly—in equal measure—for the rest of the season. At the end of the day, it is still a TV show.” Bristowe, who works with RAW Beauty Talks to help empower women, says it took some practical thinking to get past any worries about sending the wrong message. “I just kept reminding myself, ‘You’re on . And when I say it’s time, I mean that you’ll find out after Chris Harrison tortures the ladies a bit, because his definition of “I’ll get right to it” means that he’ll talk around it for a solid 30 seconds before actually revealing anything. I have to admit – I was kind of hoping that Ryan M. would be the swing vote and that that the drunken, misogynist escapades that got him kicked off meant the whole thing would end up in a tie, but alas. Britt took the news as well as one could, thanking Harrison for letting her be a part of the process. “I want to be a wife and mom more than anything,” she said tearfully in the limo ride on the way back to the hotel.

The Bachelorette Is: When the show starts, Chris Harrison does not beat around the bush, he makes a beeline for Britt and immediately informs her in the most circumspect way possible that she is not the Bachelorette. That’s what mattered to me.” And throughout the process, Bristowe tried to stay honest with herself: “I did a couple of gut checks,” she says. “I didn’t have this goal of, ‘I need to be engaged.’ It was more, ‘I hope that’s going to happen because that’s what I came here for.” She added that while she was “grateful” for the experience, “I almost wish that I hadn’t met them because that makes it a lot harder to walk away from. How many times do you have to put your heart out there?” When Harrison broke the news to Kaitlyn, he took a page out of Ryan Seacrest’s Book of Reality-Show Hosting: “I counted the votes, and unfortunately, Kaitlyn,” he said, pausing long enough for civilizations to be built, destroyed and built again, “I had to send Britt home.” JJ proved a worthy contender when he revealed to Kaitlyn that he has a 3-year-old daughter; Kaitlyn said that it made her take him more seriously than the others, but not more seriously than smokeshow Shawn B., apparently.

Where are those tissues Tanner gave her when you need them? [Insert super depressing limo thoughts here.] Honestly, can you imagine how good these limo drivers must feel about their lives once they drive a fallen contestant home? It’s a bunch of crying and yelling obviously, but we also learn that Nick Viall, Andi Dorfman’s castoff from her season of The Bachelorette, will be joining the ranks. If you’ll recall, Nick was the one who “made love” with Andi and then told everybody about it on the After the Final Rose special. “The things I told you were real. He tells her she’s the Bachelorette, which makes her hyperventilate more, and then he reminds her that she has to stop hyperventilating because she has a Rose Ceremony to oversee, which makes her both hyperventilate and swear. (They could overdub the swearing, but the heavy breathing was there to stay.) Chris then leaves so she can pull herself together and call her mother and try not puke simultaneously.

Tanner, our last KC contestant after last night’s triumph/fiasco involving Ryan M., got a rose and didn’t even embarrass himself with a cheesy voiceover. Good job. “Let’s toast to Kaitlyn!” a tall stubbled guy declares, and then we see a highlight reel Kaitlyn frolicking in some ancient ruins and learning hockey. The Big Reveal: Chris Harrison walks into a room full of men (and probably the smell of sweat and musk, after all that time trying to stake their claim to a woman [insert caveman chest thump]). To help her on her journey is the First Impression Rose. (Yes, grammarians, that’s a proper noun.) The Menfolk and Their Feelings: Some of the men are thrilled that Kaitlyn is the woman they will be pursuing. Shawn B. and Ian win for most excited, whereas Jonathan and Brady look like they’ve just seen a ghost. (The ghost of their relationships with Britt, that is.) Only now can Kaitlyn’s journey really begin.

And she kicks it off with a few Britt-lovers lying to her face—I’m looking at you, Tony and Jared—before Joshua takes her aside and gives her the rose that he built for her. Like Tony the healer, who is having a hard time transitioning his energies from Britt to Kaitlyn, even though he originally wanted to vote for Kaitlyn. As Kaitlyn puts it, the fact that he welded it out of steel and was all “I’m a man” is hot. (I sincerely hope he said “I’m a man” over and over to himself as he made that.) But a steel rose isn’t the only one Kaitlyn will be getting tonight. And then there’s Brady, who simply can’t process all of the emotions he’s experienced in the past 24 hours—a.k.a. how long they’ve been at this house. Anyway, the daughter thing seems to work for Kaitlyn, who instantly takes JJ more seriously and tells him that he’s suddenly become more attractive to her than she ever thought he would be.

Rose Ceremony, Part II: With Brady on his way out the door and the ceremony back under way, Clint accepts Kaitlyn’s rose, then there’s a Tanner, a Corey (or maybe a Cory?), an Ian, another Ben, a Justin and someone else maybe? Inside, as the men watch Chris and Kaitlyn make-out, Tony makes my soul die a little bit with this: “Can’t judge a book by its cupcake.” THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE, TONY. I’ll never understand.) So instead of wasting Kaitlyn’s time, he’s going to pat Chris Harrison on the shoulder to get Britt’s hotel information, and go sweep his woman off her feet. (Spoiler: By the time Brady gets to her hotel room, Britt has changed her clothes, but she hasn’t stopped crying. And no, she definitely hasn’t showered.) Kaitlyn then resumes the rose ceremony, giving roses to Clint, either Cory or Corey, Jonathan, the other Cory/Corey, Ben Z., Tanner, Ian, Justin, and Jared. From the looks of the preview, this season is going to get hot and heavy real quick, and I’m not even referring to the return of Nick “why did you make love with me” Viall.

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