The Bachelor’ recap: Jimmy Kimmel takes over

20 Jan 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Chris Soules’s.

It was a clash of ABC shows Monday night when Jimmy Kimmel took a hiatus from his hosting duties at “Jimmy Kimmel Live” to be a cohost of “The Bachelor” with regular host Chris Harrison. It was Jimmy Kimmel’s night to guest-host The Bachelor and the talk show host brought a welcome dose of humour to the proceedings, surprising Chris at his bachelor pad, tagging along on parts of the first two dates and helping out at the rose ceremony.

Jimmy told the women that they say “amazing” too much during the show and presented them with an “Amazing Jar” that they had to put a dollar in any time they said the word. After a bittersweet exit from Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette, the farmer from Arlington, Iowa, is searching for love once again on ABC’s hit franchise. But despite Kimmel’s joke that he was going to help Chris pick women “by making love to each one of you,” he didn’t advise Chris on who should get roses. Whether it was her realistic approach to reality dating, her easy laugh — or the fact she was happy to eat beef and drink bourbon — Kaitlyn won over Chris, Kimmel and a number of fans on social media. (Kimmel was pretty good on the night. He sent Chris and Kaitlyn a curveball on their one-on-one when their limo pulled up to not a helicopter or a picnic but…Costco. “It wasn’t the most ideal first date but we made the best of it,” Chris said after he and Kaitlyn ran around the store to grab the items off Jimmy’s list.

As Chris grilled steaks at his place that night, Jimmy grilled Kaitlyn about her dating history, asking her if she had ever dated a farmer and if she would be angry about Chris potentially sleeping with multiple women during fantasy suite week. The trio had dinner together and Chris gave Kaitlyn a rose — in front of Jimmy, who wouldn’t stop teasing them and even climbed into the hot tub with them. Jimmy also planned the week’s group date, sending the women to a farming competition to see how well they would adapt to Chris’ farmer life in Iowa. Chris and the women had a party later that night and the claws started to come out, as women began to vocalize their jealously about Chris talking to and kissing other women.

Chris kissed Kaitlyn in a giant plastic ball at Costco; he kissed Jade on his bed; he kissed Jillian in a hot tub; he kissed Ashley I. on a balcony railing; he kissed Amber and Britt and Whitney. MacKenzie was almost in tears, fretting over the fact that after Chris bestowed the first kiss on her, he had since made out with pretty much everyone in the house. “Do you remember, on our date, when we kissed?” MacKenzie asked him, making her 21 years sound more like 12. “Why are you kissing everyone else?” Then there was Ashley I’s moping after the cocktail party was changed to a pool party at the last minute.

However, one woman, Becca, told Chris she didn’t feel comfortable kissing him yet because “it wasn’t normal” and wanted to wait until she was ready. He would have kissed Becca, too, but she refused. “There’s a fair amount of kissing going on, which is the point of this whole deal,” Chris said at one point. “When there’s a moment with a person that feels right and it makes sense, I’m gonna do that. She was, like, planning to go for the Kardashian look and then she had to settle for, um, well … even though she’s a freelance journalist, she couldn’t think of the word. I’m here to find a wife and I’m trying to make it as real as possible and forget about the fact there’s a bunch of different women.” Despite all the smooching, some of it in clear view of others, drama between the women was non-existent. Finally able to get some one-on-one time — while looking pretty darn spectacular in her bikini — all she could do was cry about the lack of time she’d been able to spend with Chris, and how Jillian had monopolized his time.

Ashley I. got teary when Jillian wouldn’t give her some alone time, but that was about it. “It’s time we get up, it’s time to say hello to the girls. Becca may have received the rose on the group date — in part because she refused to kiss him given it’s not something she’d do so quickly in real life — and Kaitlyn clearly wowed him on their trip to Costco, but Whitney seemed to establish the best connection. It was the perfect date for Whitney, the “little girl who’s dreamed of her wedding day since she was tiny.” “Chris is such a great dancer,” gushed Whitney, who must not get out much. “He has moves right and centre.

Honestly, though, they seemed to be having a ball grabbing items for Kimmel’s shopping list, which included beef jerky, size 32 jeans, a tub of mayo and “enough ketchup to fill a hot tub.” They also bought steaks and other food to serve Jimmy for dinner, and folding chairs and a table, and got some little kids to roll them down an aisle inside a big blue plastic ball, in which they kissed. In the final challenge, Carly figured out that chasing piglets was counterproductive and it was better to wait for one to come to you, which it did, so she won. When she told me what the date card said, I really thought we’d be joining an “exclusive club” with “sweeping views and unlimited hors d’oeuvres.” Little did I know sweeping views meant aisles of discounted products, and these so-called fancy “hors d’oeuvres” meant free samples! At the group cocktail party, she snatched Chris away for alone time the instant the other women planted their bums on seats. “I get kind of nervous around you, and I know that I’m, like, girlie and sweet, but you are a man and I am a woman so I just wanted to take advantage,” Carly told him before grabbing his face and kissing him.

Becca spent some time droning on about how Chris was “worth leaving everything for,” and held hands with him and hugged him but wouldn’t kiss him because she didn’t want to rush things. Date No. 3, with Whitney: Despite another date card from Jimmy with the message “Today is going to be fun, no whining,” this was your standard Bachelor date: picnicking amid the beautiful scenery of Saddlerock Ranch in Malibu. Chris just happened to tell Whitney he admired the type of woman who could walk into a crowd and make friends with “Joe Blow you don’t know from a hole in the wall.” And then he just happened to look over his shoulder and spot a group of people who were so far away the camera couldn’t get a proper fix on them. And despite the fact they were being filmed (from a distance, but still) and they were miked and that Chris asked the bride’s sister, the maid of honour, how she knew the bride, nobody blew their cover.

Just why an ability to crash weddings would be a desirable quality in a spouse I can’t say, but Chris said he could “absolutely imagine Whitney being my wife.” Whitney gushed that if they did end up together it “would be one of the greatest love stories of all time” because of how they spent their first date and that newlyweds Nick and Shannon would be invited to their wedding. We hadn’t had enough exposed flesh for one episode, I guess, notwithstanding the shots of Chris, sweaty and bare-chested, doing an outdoor abdominal workout.

That kind of negates Kaitlyn’s comment: “So Chris takes his shirt off and jumps in the pool and all the girl are like sharks on a little innocent sea lion.” Innocent, my butt. Juelia described her husband, who had mental health issues, snapping “like I’ve never seen a human being snap” the night before he killed himself, grabbing his gun and screaming, forcing her to flee with her daughter in fear for her life. That tour inevitably led to the bedroom, where Chris showed how he would test the hotel beds when he was on The Bachelorette by jumping on them, which led to Jade jumping on his bed, which led to snuggling and smooching. Now, here’s the truth: I’ve basically never done most of those things in my life, and whoever ends up being my wife is definitely never going to have to milk a goat, or wrestle a grease-covered pig. The Rose Ceremony: Kimmel sent Chris off to the ceremony with the words, “Whatever you do, don’t be yourself, be someone who makes better speeches,” advice that Chris did not follow.

Roses went to Jade, Samantha, Juelia, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Britt, Megan, Carly, Ashley S. (who we didn’t hear a peep from all episode), Nikki, Jillian and Ashley I. I know I’ve maybe kissed more girls at this point than the average Bachelor, but I was taking things seriously, and isn’t kissing a huge part of any romantic relationship? I did feel bad that Jillian didn’t give her the chance to talk to me, because I wanted to talk to her, but that whole laugh/cry thing is very confusing to us men. But having Jimmy Kimmel around certainly lightened the mood, and we all had a really hard time keeping a straight face when he came in to announce the final rose of the evening.

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