The Bachelor recap: Ho-down Throwdown

20 Jan 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Bachelor 2015: Jimmy Kimmel guest hosts, Grand Rapids native Kelsey Poe competes.

The American talk show host helped guide Monday night’s episode of The Bachelor, including the first one-on-one date of the night: a dinner party prepared by Bachelor Chris Soules and Kaitlyn, the 29-year-old dance instructor from Vancouver. “Let me ask you a question,” Kimmel continued. “Let’s say it all goes great, you guys get together, and three months later you’re at home watching the show and you find out that Chris has gone into the fantasy suite with three women and made sweet, sweet, sweet love to each of the women, including yourself.THE BACHELOR – “Episode 1903” – Jimmy and Chris take 12 stunning bachelorettes to compete in a farm-themed relay race to see if they can handle being a farmer’s wife. Whether it was her realistic approach to reality dating, her easy laugh — or the fact she was happy to eat beef and drink bourbon — Kaitlyn won over Chris, Kimmel and a number of fans on social media. (Kimmel was pretty good on the night. He had some great lines, “Hello, Sister Wives” cracked me up, and his creation of an “amazing jar” in which anyone who said the word “amazing” had to place $1 was brilliant and proof that he actually watches the show.

Unless, of course, you bring in Jimmy Kimmel to throw our bachelor off his game, to finally make people accountable for the ridiculous over-use of the word “amazing,” and force couples to go shopping at Costco. I’ll admit that I was skeptical about the Kimmel factor of it all, but then he brought in the Amazing Jar and, well, it was the first thing this season that truly deserved the descriptor “amazing.” We kick things off with Kimmel’s arrival. Upon entering Chris’ unlocked house—seriously, they want these girls to visit—Kimmel presents us with what might be the most endearing Chris moment yet. MacKenzie was almost in tears, fretting over the fact that after Chris bestowed the first kiss on her, he had since made out with pretty much everyone in the house. “Do you remember, on our date, when we kissed?” MacKenzie asked him, making her 21 years sound more like 12. “Why are you kissing everyone else?” Then there was Ashley I’s moping after the cocktail party was changed to a pool party at the last minute. Finally able to get some one-on-one time — while looking pretty darn spectacular in her bikini — all she could do was cry about the lack of time she’d been able to spend with Chris, and how Jillian had monopolized his time.

And then, of course, they kissed and all was well with the world. “There is a fair amount of kissing going on, which is part of this whole deal,” Chris confessed to the camera at one point. “When there’s a moment with a person, and it feels right, and it makes sense, I’m going to do that. It’s a Threesome: Back at Chris S.’s house, Chris and Kaitlyn get ready for their dinner, and Chris tells her that he leads an unglamorous life that revolves around farming and Costco (although the closest Costco is almost two hours away). Kimmel wanted the two to experience what “real couples” do and pick him up some things including “enough ketchup to fill a hot tub.” The couple enjoyed how “normal” the date was and the chemistry between the two looked genuine. Becca may have received the rose on the group date — in part because she refused to kiss him given it’s not something she’d do so quickly in real life — and Kaitlyn clearly wowed him on their trip to Costco, but Whitney seemed to establish the best connection.

She also wasn’t fond of drinking the “eight ounces of warm, unpasteurized goat’s milk.” Carly was the winner of the competition and when the date moved poolside, she quickly angled for some alone time. Kelsey gags on the milk, while Amber happily watches from the sidelines because she heard the milk was “warm and salty” which are “not things I like in my mouth” and feel free to make your own joke about that. Carly admitted that she was lactose intolerant but chugged her goat milk anyway, which gave her the edge to be the first to the manure-shoveling contest. Soules, not the quickest liar, met the wedding party and even the bride’s mother with Whitney providing the believable lines to keep them at the party. Then he went to kiss some more women and hands the Date Rose to a woman named Becca, who may have just accidentally walked onto the set and into the party, because she looks new here.

Second Date: Whitney, the baby-voiced fertility nurse who spent her first few minutes with Chris S. asking about hog insemination, is invited to a picnic in a windy hill with the sun in her eyes, but the date card said no whining, so she doesn’t. Jeulia revealed her story about becoming a widow to Soules, Britt wanted more kisses than conversation, and Jade got a tour of the bachelor’s home including his bed (sans Kimmel). Jimmy dead-eyes him, says, “Goodbye, Chris,” and then does a full sad limo ride off into the sunset, crying about how he and Chris spent four whole days together, and it was definitely love.

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