Stephen Colbert Guesses Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Entire Plot

29 Oct 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Luke Skywalker’s ‘Star Wars’ absence ‘no accident’.

William Shatner recently tweeted jabs at the upcoming J.J. Although the final Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer debuted during Stephen Colbert’s off-week, the host and self-described “the original Star Wars fan,” returned to a galaxy far, far away on Wednesday’s Late Show to give his thoughts on the trailer. Abrams-directed “Star Wars” sequel by calling out both its similarities to classic science fiction — and knocking the return of some of the most disliked characters.

The film’s final preview didn’t reveal too many concrete details regarding the film’s under-lock-and-key plot, but Colbert scrutinized each frame of the final trailer and revealed what he believes will happen when the Star Wars saga returns in December. “I am confident I have the definitive guess as to the entire plot of the movie now,” Colbert told his audience, adding that while he and director J.J. Either way, you’ll probably enjoy Stephen Colbert breathlessly predicting what’s going to happen in the closely guarded film when it hits theaters in December. The much-talked about poster for “The Force Awakens” features the characters Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) and Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) — both of which were featured in the “Star Wars” prequels. Abrams are good friends, “he has told me nothing, including what J.J. stands for.” However, Colbert wasn’t simply laying the groundwork for some comedy at the expense of sci-fi geeks; he actually unspooled his deep analysis of the trailer. “It has been three decades since the events of the original trilogy,” Colbert said. “The dark and mysterious First Order has stepped into the power vacuum once held by the Empire, and the newly named Resistance fights in place of the Rebel Alliance, which has begun a tragic shift to the dark side.” Colbert then gets philosophical about the plot. “It follows that now the new New Hope comes from the very enemy we’ve been trained to hate. Shatner tweeted out to his more than 2.2 million followers on Oct. 20 that Phasma looks like a character from the original version of “Battlestar Galactica” — while Dameron resembles a character from a British sci-fi series called “Space: 1999,” The Guardian first reported.

So it’s no wonder that most of the famous attendees at Vanity Fair’s New Establishment Summit—from Jared Leto to Lena Dunham—had burning questions for Abrams. The “Boston Legal” star tweeted a couple of mocking comparisons from the new film to the prequels from the early 2000s, including the much-hated Jar Jar Binks. It has not been made clear why exactly Shatner has beef with “Star Wars,” though fans of both his series “Star Trek” and “Star Wars” have long been considered rivals.

Mad Max will roar back out of the apocalypse while Mad Men rides off into the sunset, rock’s Antichrist Superstar and hip-hop’s Yeezus will rise again. In a panel conversation with Apple’s chief design officer, Jonathan Ive, and producer Brian Grazer, Abrams said, “Now that we’re into October,” he said, “it’s getting real. After going a uncommonly long time without killing off a major character, The Walking Dead this week said a wrenching goodbye to someone who’d been part of the show’s solid core since the beginning.

At the end of the series’ very first episode, Rick Grimes was penned-in by zombies in downtown Atlanta with little hope of escape — then he heard the voice of a friendly stranger over the radio, calling him a “dumbass.” That stranger, a former pizza-delivery guy named Glenn Rhee, saved our hero’s life. But whenever I get freaked out, I just look at the work everyone has done.” But no matter how high the pressure and how many questions people ask, Abrams won’t open his famous mystery box for just anyone. Now, in this week’s episode — entitled, appropriately enough, “Thank You” — Glenn calls his buddy “dumbass” one last time, via a radio message he delivers from a walker-infested small-town shopping plaza. And then there’s the long speech that an infected Alexandrian gives to Michonne, about how he just wants to make it back to the Safe Zone so that he can thank his wife for convincing him that happiness could still exist, even in the plague years.

His hand-written note of gratitude ultimately ends up on the ground, trampled by the undead as its author dies screaming — not too long after Glenn mentions that he has a wife, too. As our heroes try to salvage the plan and get back to safety, Rick tells Glenn and Michonne that there are too many walkers ahead of them for their party to survive intact; he stresses that they shouldn’t hesitate to leave the weak and wounded behind. It’s an impressive, horrifying spectacle, captured by director Michael Slovis in a series of overhead shots that make the walkers look like an unstoppable force of nature. He puts his faith in Nicholas, the ASZ coward he’s been trying to teach to be stronger; and the other man’s indecision leads them into a blocked-off alley, where they quickly run out of ammunition.

Nicholas panics and shoots himself in the head (after saying, “Thank you”) and they both fall into the horde, where Glenn’s ripped apart, fully conscious. The death comes with about 15 minutes remaining in “Thank You,” leaving the rest of the episode to compare the lesson — that it’s cruel to be kind — with what our surviving heroes are going through.

And Rick, having shocked the Alexandrians with how callously he kills and scavenges, shocks himself when he guns down some humans who are trying to commandeer his RV, then goes through their pockets and finds jars of baby food. Right about now, this show’s fans fans are probably going through a similar intellectual wrestling match, trying to decide whether this latest twist is one too many. Most TV dramas, even the bloodiest, promise to keep at least a few major characters front-and-center, so that viewers will have someone reliable and likable to follow through the worst of times. But like Game of Thrones, our weekly dose of zombie-apocalypse drama has always been a show where the stakes are high and meaningful, and where anyone can die at any time.

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