“Scream Queens” Premiere Recap: I Can’t Date A Garbage Person

23 Sep 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘Pilot’ / ‘Hell Week’.

The much-hyped comedy-horror show starring Lea Michele, Emma Roberts, Abigail Breslin and Jamie Lee Curtis, has just had its premiere in the US, but it had not been picked up by a UK channel until now. If Scream and Mean Girls had unprotected sex atop the detritus from nine rounds of beer pong while “Bad Blood” played in the background, the fruit of their loins would probably look something like Scream Queens — the latest horror story from producers Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan.By the end of the two-hour series premiere on Tuesday night, we found ourselves no shortage of moments, amazing one-liners, and deaths to process (R.I.P, lots of people).If you heard the news that at least one character will die on every episode of Fox’s new horror drama “Scream Queens”… you might only care about learning who dies. Now E4 has announced it will air the satirical slasher horror series, co-created by Ryan Murphy, the man behind Glee and American Horror Story, this autumn.

Recently awarded Emmy winner costume designer Lou Eyrich looked to brands like Chanel and Jeremy Scott for Mochino and of course, through the runway photos from former website Style.com for inspiration to style main stars Emma Roberts and Arianna Grande. Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) is a terrible delight to watch and, as we learn, has a long list of rules that must be obeyed by those around her at all times. As has been endlessly discussed, Murphy shows typically follow the same pattern: They start out really strong and get you hooked with a mix of absurdity, brittle dialogue, insane characters and shocking cliffhangers. This new the comedy-thriller seems to have the potential to be what Gossip Girl was to teens back then and Sex and the City to cosmopolitan women in the aughts, at least fashion-wise.

Whether or not you relish equal-opportunity mockery will likely dictate whether you suck up Scream Queens like some sort of bittersweet cocktail. (Be sure to check out my colleague Melissa Maerz’s review for even more commentary.) We open in 1995, with a scene ripped from I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant: Sorority House Edition. If you missed its debut ep, here’s a quick back track: Two decades after a mysterious murder case in Wallace University another one sets off another fright fest. A Kappa Kappa Tau pledge—under the mistaken impression that she’s hiding nothing more than the Freshman 15 beneath her yellow taffeta — has just given birth in an upstairs bathtub, while a party rages downstairs. It began with Chanel No. 2 opening her door to the obvious masked murderer, trying to flirt with him and then engaging in a text conversation with him or her.

See: “Glee,” “American Horror Story,” “Nip/Tuck.” So to save you the trouble, I watched the two-hour premiere of “Scream Queens” and will share the first characters to go. Her disgusted sisters won’t deign to help her until they’ve properly jammed to TLC’s “Waterfalls.” (“A lonely mother gazing out of her window…”) Cut to approximately four minutes and 39 seconds later, and Teen Mom has bled out.

The series flashes back 20 years to when a Kappa pledge gave birth to a baby in a bathtub — and her sisters refused to help because it was during a really fun party and TLC’s “Waterfalls” was playing and that song was their jam. She tells Fashionista, “The Kappa girls are all in pastels and, in theory, very expensive clothes. [They are] perfectly coiffed; nails done, shoes matching the outfits and makeup done pristinely.” Fur coats and feather boa dresses aside, the costume designer admits, “That whole polished look is completely unrealistic on a college campus, and high heels at all times.” Dean Munsch accuses Chanel of Lannister-ian plottings after a spray tan incident left the previous Chanel No. 1 burned and disfigured last year. (Hydrochloric acid will do that to a person.) It’s worth noting this bronzed flashback offers our first look at the Red Devil — a menacing costumed figure and this series’ Big Bad. If you looked at the cast list and saw pop star Ariana Grande’s name and thought “there’s no way Ariana Grande would really be a character on a primetime TV show”… you are correct! Daddy’s (Oliver Hudson) driving her to college, and as Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” wafts from the stereo speakers, he’s begging his daughter not to rush a sorority.

Which means Neck Brace (Lea Michele), Deaf Taylor Swift (Whitney Meyer), and Candle Vlogger (Breezy Eslin) are all eligible. (But seriously, will someone buy that Nancy Meyers Experience candle for me? And finally, another character that you think is dead is actually a pretty compelling twist, because it’s Nick Jonas — another actor/singer you wouldn’t think would stick around a TV show.

Chad bottom-lines it for Chanel: He “can’t date a garbage person.” (Though, apparently, he’s not above sleeping with the Dean…) Chanel hatches her own plan, one she reveals to maid Ms. Bean while at the coffee shop ordering her trenta, five-shot, no-foam, pumpkin spice, half-caf, no-foam latte from barista-investigative-reporter Pete. Grace wants to nark, but Chanel uses the promise of boyfriends and trips to Cancun to persuade the other pledges to falsely accuse Grace of the crime if she does so. (They were stupid not to hold out for iPads if you ask me…) In such a lovely display of team work and sisterly camaraderie, the girls drag Ms.

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