Quiz: Sharknado Plot Point or Real-Life Shark Encounter? | News Entertainment

Quiz: Sharknado Plot Point or Real-Life Shark Encounter?

23 Jul 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘Sharknado 3’ tosses all standards overboard and sinks anyway.

‘Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” • 8 p.m. Scerbo returns as Nova in “Sharknado 3,” which blows onto Syfy Wednesday night at 9 — and I gotta say, until she showed up I didn’t really care that this latest sharknado might destroy America as we know it.

Wednesday on Syfy • One and a half stars (out of four) • Syfy.com/sharknado3 • Revisit “Sharknado” at 4 p.m. and “Sharknado 2” at 6 p.m., all on Syfy Ditto for the “Sharknado 3” team, which is clearly just making up the most ridiculous stuff possible at this point. Although most of the action in Sharknado and Sharknado 2: The Second One is entirely unrealistic, it may be harder than it seems to discern bloody fact from bloody fiction.

And I am not sure which is worse, really, or even how to proceed — what standards to hold it to when an utter lack of standards is its raison d’etre. But then she comes out from under this great big old black helmet, something that looks like it was designed by Batman on Ritalin, and I said to myself, this just might rescue me. “Sharknado” fans will remember Nova from the first “Sharknado” as the waitress who got swallowed by a shark. David Hasselhoff and Bo Derek join Ian Ziering (as the chainsaw-wielding, shark-gutting Fin Shepard, now the recipient of a presidential medal) and Tara Reid (his wife, April). But halfway through — right about the time a character loses his limbs one by one while trying to take heroic action — the mojo that makes these absurd movies a hoot kicks in and “Sharknado 3” becomes the insane event viewers anticipate.

There is a line of defense the movie throws up, a sort of camouflage, in which the purposely bad is blended with the actually bad, that makes the critic want to pack up his typewriter and repair despairing to the bar. Much like 40-year-old fans of “Beverly Hills 90210.” I’d totally watch a Lifetime movie called “90210nado.” This new installment finds our heroes doing their thing when the disaster strikes the East Coast between Washington, D.C. and Florida. There are cameos by Mark Cuban (the president), Ann Coulter (the vice president), the former House representatives Michele Bachmann and Anthony Weiner, and Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb, Frankie Muniz and Jerry Springer. “When the original ‘Sharknado’ ripped through the summer of 2013 on Syfy, many viewers no doubt thought that its climactic scene, the greatest in made-for-TV B-movie history, would never be topped,” Neil Genzlinger wrote this week, reviewing the third iteration in The New York Times. “They were wrong.” He added, “It will leave everyone who sees it speechless.” 7:45 A.M. (HBO2) THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARLIE (2002) In Jonathan Demme’s remake of the 1963 comic thriller “Charade,” Thandie Newton plays a new wife who returns to her Paris apartment to break it off with her art-dealing husband, Charlie, only to find the place ransacked.

The “Sharknado” phenomenon began three years ago when the first film debuted with little fanfare but received an outsized amount of attention on social media. “Sharknado 2” upped the ridiculous ante, getting crazier and more comedic. “Sharknado 3,” once again written by Thunder Levin and directed by Anthony C. The first two “Sharknado” movies blew up the Internet and went on to set ratings records for Syfy, and not because they were classic cinema, but because they were so ridiculous. Ferrante (he appears on screen as a NASA flight control director), suffers from blah plotting and a dearth of so-bad-it’s-awesome dialogue in its first half. Ferrante and writer Thunder Levin are masters of subtlety and that they have played here a conceptual prank of an exquisitely high order, a satirical triple bluff whose indistinguishable likeness to meretricious garbage is, in fact, the very signet of its cleverness and quality. They are joined by a guffawed gaggle of cameos including David Hasselhoff, Frankie Muniz, Mark Cuban, Chris Jericho, Michele Bachmann, Jerry Springer, Penn & Teller, Holly Madison and more. “Flipping Out” 9 p.m., Bravo Much like people fighting sharks stuck in tornadoes, Jeff Lewis is an interesting character.

Mark Wahlberg portrays the charming stranger eager to help; Tim Robbins is the man she turns to at the United States Embassy. “The sensual, butter-voiced” Ms. There’s a lot of product placement, including for Subway, although a scene featuring former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle at the Smithsonian during a shark storm was excised after his home was searched earlier this month in a child pornography investigation. Newton is “so good that when she’s on screen, the movie works — or at least you think it does,” Elvis Mitchell wrote in The Times. “It’s a spot-specific case of alchemy.” 9 A.M. (CUNY) ELDRIDGE & CO.

Once Sharknado expert Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) travels to Florida, where Fin’s wife, April (Tara Reid), is pregnant and enjoying a day out with her mother (Bo Derek) at Universal Studios, “Sharknado 3” starts a welcome sprint toward Crazytown. In case you’ve forgotten, a sharknado is an apparently not-that-rare weather phenomenon in which a tornado over water picks up sharks and spews them onto land.

A shark-fighter played by Frankie Muniz (“Malcolm in the Middle”) worries that merging sharknadoes might result in a sharkicane, although he notes, “Bio-meteorology is not really an exact science yet.” “Sharknado 3” layers in cameos, such as Mt. Ian Ziering returns as the chainsaw-wielding hero, along with Tara Reid as his formerly estranged wife, now with bionic hand and pregnant with their second child.

When the funnel cloud picks up thousands of sharks from the Potomac River, the sharks rain down on the White House, destroying it and every other Washington monument. (Are there really sharks in the Potomac, I asked myself? Ferrante gets in one mild but funny dig at NBC: TMZ’s Harvey Levin plays an NBC reporter named Lester Williams, borrowing names from new “NBC Nightly News” anchor Lester Holt and deposed “Nightly News” anchor Brian Williams The movie makes excellent use of its access to Universal Studios and NASA facilities at Cape Canaveral that appear in the movie’s stellar climax that takes sharks to a new final frontier. Robot (10 p.m., USA) – When fsociety arrives at Steel Mountain, the most secure data facility in the country, Eliot needs to get in and out quickly. The film’s disappointing first half is almost forgivable thanks to the insanity of its final act, which introduces David Hasselhoff as Fin’s astronaut father. What’s the opposite of the old Wrigley’s Doublemint gum jingle: “Double your pain, double your horror?” “Dating Naked” doesn’t leave anything to the imagination, while “Twinning” takes the horrible reality show contestant cliche and multiplies it by two.

A cliffhanger ending brings the film back to its social media roots, giving viewers the chance to dictate whether a character lives or dies by chiming in via social media; a fourth film promises to reveal the character’s ultimate fate. Given the raised profile, much of it feels surprisingly cheap and inept — and not ironically cheap and inept, but thrown together, indifferently constructed from a script that could have been written in less time than the movie takes to watch. (The opening credits are the cleverest thing in the film.) Even the sharks, falling from the sky to dispatch or be dispatched with a pounding, gory dullness, seem somehow beside the point. The amateur-hour feeling is heightened by the great number of cameos, a bizarre and strangely unimpressive agglomeration that includes Jackie Collins, Lorenzo Lamas, Lou Ferrigno, Anthony Weiner, Jerry Springer, George R.R. You’ll enjoy witnessing the fate of many of these people, so I won’t go into more detail about the cameos for fear of spoiling what little pleasure “Sharknado 3” delivers. I will say that Hasselhoff and Ziering actually have quite a moving scene as father and son, both summoning up something known as “acting” to convey “emotions.”

Goldberg zeroed in on the tenderness and vulnerability that lie at the heart of male friendship, and here they go even further, using the prospect of global annihilation as an occasion for some touchy-feely relationship workshopping.” 10 P.M. (VH1) TWINNING In this new competition show, 12 pairs of super-close identical twins try to prove that their bond is unbreakable for $222,222.22.

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