Newest ‘X-Files’ Promo & Teaser Art Reveal That Mulder & Scully Haven’t …

30 Oct 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

50 Scenes That Do Not Appear in the Fox ‘X-Files’ Revival.

People are often surprised to learn that I, Brian Phillips, enjoy spending time with celebrities in glamorous situations and environments. “But Brian,” they exclaim, eyes wide over the straws of their Frappuccinos, “you’re a serious writer!The new officer who questions Gillian Anderson’s Dana Scully about her work with David Duchovny’s Fox Mulder doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.

How can you waste your time with all that trash?” My answer is always the same. “Look,” I say with a small smile, “if Thomas Mann could write Doctor Faustus in Pacific Palisades without even getting a suntan, there’s no reason I can’t … something something something.” I sort of murmur the last part into my drink. Tom Braidwood, Dean Haglund and Bruce Harwood are returning as Melvin Frohike, Ringo Langly and John Fitzgerald Byers (aka the Lone Gunmen conspiracy group).

Glen Morgan is a little guy I like to call “a producer of The X-Files, a television series that aired on Fox between 1993 and 2002, starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.” Actually, he’s not little at all. The others are written and directed by series alums Glen Morgan, Darin Morgan and James Wong. “It’s a perfect time to be telling ‘X-Files’ stories,” Carter told fans at New York Comic-Con after a screening of the first episode. “That’s why I was excited about doing it (again). If I had to use one word to describe Glen Morgan’s physical scale, it would be “medium.” There are a lot of different sizes of people in the world, and that guy is one of the normal ones. My serious-writer brain was fully engaged with learning about things like the meaning of America and also what is up with Mulder and Scully these days. Martin let slip to me in confidence that Tyrion murders Daenerys at the end of the last book, I have been terrified of accidentally revealing a major spoiler on the Internet.

Also, the PR flack who welcomed me to the screening room explained that she would “fucking cut [me]” if I “breathe[d] a word about any of this, you [extremely handsome man].” What I can tell you is what doesn’t happen in the new X-Files. The Cigarette Smoking Man never sits up grumpily in bed while snapping, “Jesus, Velazquez, when is it not time to take out the recycling?” to the alien lying there next to him. 4.

I could tell you that this series explores the politics of mulch production, but I would be lying, because that is yet another thing that does not happen. 9. It does not, at any point, transpire that Assistant FBI Director Walter Skinner joins Kickstarter to seek funding for his “elegantly bound novelization” of Infocom’s Leather Goddesses of Phobos. 11. Jonathan, who is not making churros, does not tell Scully that “it’s about the cinnamon” and then gasp, “I’ve said too much,” and then get shot in the head by a sniper from Venus. 12. There is never a day, in the entire timeline of the new series, when the members of the conspiracy openly confess that they would make a shitty water polo team. 15. The camera does not slowly zoom in on the cancer-eating mutant, Leonard Betts, as he takes a long, luxuriant lick of a Friendly’s ice cream cone, then continue to zoom in, closer and closer, all the way into his mad, dead eyes, as he murmurs, “This tastes gross.” 18.

Mulder does not throw a football through a tire swing in extreme slow motion while a gravelly, no-nonsense male voice-over breaks down his mechanics. 20. In fact no one is wondering that, because there is no such character. 26. “Did you see this, Mulder?” Scully does not whisper while pressing play on the latest YouTube video about a funny octopus. “This octopus is frightening me.” 27. No one, including Luther Lee Boggs, the serial killer who terrorized Scully in the classic episode “Beyond the Sea,” gives Scully some trays as a present. 31. The Well-Manicured Man does not introduce his two new conspiracy buddies, the Orders Expensive Basketball Sneakers On eBay Man and Josh Who Is Still Into Normcore. SCULLY: Well, Mulder, it doesn’t take a semanticist to see that the basic tension in progressive online discourse is that its commitment to the sanctity of individual personhood involves placing an ever-increasing stress on all the ways in which that sanctity can be violated … the problem is that we live in a moment in which a heightened sense of the value of the individual threatens to produce a correspondingly heightened sense of the individual’s essential weakness. 43.

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