Justin Bieber Is Getting Roasted By Comedy Central

20 Jan 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Justin Bieber getting his own Comedy Central Roast.

The occasional Atlanta denizen and frequent pop culture punchline is going to be the annual Comedy Central roast target this year, set to tape in March.

Comedy Central is making Justin Bieber’s dreams come true: the child star turned Calvin Klein model will be roasted on national television, just like he’s always wanted. (Really!) “Justin has been asking us for a few years to roast him, and we just kept telling him to create more source material first,” said network president Kent Alterman. “We’re thrilled he listened.” “For years I have wanted Comedy Central to roast me,” the singer tweeted. “They said only if I provided them w/ more material so for a year now I have worked hard.” Indeed he has, friends. In addition to his latest (allegedly Photoshopped) modelling gig, Bieber’s done everything from break sales records to hearts to landing in jail to peeing in a bucket at a restaurant (and in a jail cell – dude just doesn’t care). Thanks to arrests, abandoned pet monkeys and sulky Calvin Klein shoots, the 20-year-old will surely prove a rich source of comedy, though the comedians that will roast him have yet to be announced.

You know, like urinating into buckets, egging houses, stealing a woman’s phone, crashing an ATV into a minivan, battling Orlando Bloom, making racist jokes at age 14, and even wanting to become a pastor. Frankly, there’s so much material it’s almost unfair: after all, Bieber’s a barely-twentysomething boy who grew up under a freakishly bright spotlight.

The roast typically sees them take it in turns to make as insulting and tasteless jokes as possible about the roastee, while the victim sits on stage and has to silently take it. First, the beauty of roasts is their complete lack of boundaries and/or sensitivity-awareness. (Roasts are about good jokes and meanness – if you don’t want to get your feelings hurt, stay home and listen to Baby.) Second, as much as we may all still see him as a teen who sang his way into our hearts, Bieber is a grown-up, or at least legal, consenting man. Despite his now-infamous legacy, Bieber is reasonably self-aware. (Who else could “yes and” the Comedy Network executive and “lol” at SNL’s spoof of his underwear ad?) He’s also relatively smart: while the drag racing and fan-spitting may have made us forget, prior to his tear as a teen-with-a-bank-account, he was very present in his decision-making and brand. (Remember how upset he got in Never Say Never when he had to cancel a concert, and subsequently upset his fans?) So yeah: Bieber knows that the last two years will be fair game. The next Adam Levine, for sure.) And at some point, he’ll be rightfully mocked for writing “Anne was a great girl” in the guest book at the Anne Frank Haus in Amsterdam.

Hopefully, he’ll be made to remember when his pet monkey was taken away by German officials, and failed to pay them to take care of it, and we can only pray that whoever’s involved will bring up one of 2013’s greatest highlights: when Bieber was carried up the Great Wall of China. The assault, DUI, and drag racing charges will be included and accounted for, as will even more shirtlessness, we hope, because honestly: he’s a rich person who can afford clothes. Frankly, this roast might even trump James Franco’s as an exercise in saying what everybody’s been thinking forever – just articulated better, and by famous people.

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