Jon Stewart takes on FIFA scandal on ‘Daily Show’ and wonders what took so long

28 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Jon Stewart Blasts 24 Years of FIFA Corruption that “Started a Jennifer Lawrence Ago”.

Americans may not care much about soccer, but throw in big money, bribes and, as Jon Stewart puts it, the obligatory sports “perp walk” and we’re all ears, or at least we’re all investigation. Jon Stewart called out FIFA for its 24-year run of alleged corruption — starting a whole “Jennifer Lawrence ago” — on Wednesday night’s “Daily Show.” But he was also the bearer of some good news for the doomed money-laundering organization: Finally, he said, soccer would be getting the publicity other scandal-ridden sports have enjoyed in the past. “Soccer is getting its perp walk,” Stewart said, before mocking FIFA for getting caught by the Swiss of all people — a country whose official policy on Nazi gold is “we’ll allow it,” he quipped. Actually, strike that—the charges rocking the Fédération Internationale de Football Association, or FIFA, are a much bigger deal than Tom Brady’s saggy balls. Department of Justice participated in the take-down of key FIFA officials in the recent corruption and bribery scandal, which ended in a 47-count indictment with charges of racketeering and money laundering against 14 people.

What took so long?” To illustrate the scope of the U.S. investigation, Stewart performed a brief one-man play, “FIFA: A 24 Year Sting Operation,” replete with period details. Stewart went on to question why investigators took 24 years—or as he put it into perspective a, “Jennifer Lawrence ago”—to finally crack down on officials. And then he brought it back to safe Daily Show territory: “What would have happened to these FIFA scoundrels if they were bankers?” The answer: A slap on the wrist, probably. As for big banks long dogged by corruption allegations, Stewart says we may have to wait another 24 years for the Justice Department to start doing something—anything!—to punish shady bankers.

It didn’t help that America’s bid to host the 2022 World Cup was rejected, with FIFA opting instead to hold the tournament in one of the hottest spots in the world (that is perhaps the least suited for sports watching or playing) — Qatar, where temperatures can reach 140 degrees. One such sign tells man not to “manspread,” i.e. sit with their legs spread so far apart that it disturbs other passengers. (It’s a problem.) But it appears a couple of zealous police officers took the MTA’s tips a tad too far, arresting a pair of Latino men for manspreading. If you are part of a financial institution that laundered the money that f–ked with sport, you will go to the Hamptons or some of you to” STOOOOOOLE!”) and did an extended bit imagining why, precisely, it has taken two dozen years to actually charge the officials with any wrongdoing—complete with a series of ’90s-evoking wigs. Stewart’s segment may not be quite as knowledegable and passionate as his former colleague John Oliver’s blistering, 13-minute 2014 anti-FIFA rant—but it’s still an amusing way to both understand the basics of the scandal and start your morning off on the right foot. (Soccer pun!)

Indeed, it’s possible that the men were arrested so that the police could meet their quotas, a much criticized aspect of the city’s so-called “broken windows” approach to policing, in which even minor crimes are aggressively prosecuted.

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