How Not To Slut-Shame A Woman (A Guide For ‘The Bachelorette’)

21 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

How Not To Slut-Shame A Woman (A Guide For ‘The Bachelorette’).

Will it ever end? “There was something inside of me that was just always a ‘Yes,’ ” Britt said of her decision to return to the show after being eliminated on the last season of The Bachelor. (She does laugh when Kimmel says, “There’s no way you would have moved to that farm.”) Britt goes on to talk about Tony, one of the more bizarre contestants, who describes his occupation as “healer,” which sounds only slightly less fake than his real job, which is “flexibility therapist.” She had no idea that he was a bit off – or that he “meditated with ferns,” as Kimmel phrased it – only that he seemed “cool” and “compassionate.” As she reveals, Tony actually wrote her a “long-winded” letter to try to explain the black eye he was sporting, telling her to “come find him.” Because she got kicked off the show, she never actually learned the reason for the black eye, which is a true shame.The two-Bachelorette drama may be over (mostly — we’re expecting to see more of Britt and her new suitor Brady), but during Tuesday night’s season highlights, ABC amped the anti-woman sentiment way up. Britt also discusses being pursued by Nashville singer-songwriter Brady, though she gets tight-lipped at one point, because it’s an ongoing development with the show. “Maybe they’ll eliminate you a third time,” Kimmel quips.

The preview (see below, starting at around 2:30) shows Kaitlyn sobbing, berating herself for making a “mistake,” while bachelors accuse her of just going on TV to make out with a bunch of guys. It’s why the most common phrase on the show, apart from “here for the right reasons,” is “to be continued.” What’s surprising is that it took them this long to figure out they can double other things, too—like bachelorettes. In case ABC needs a little reminder, here are some simple guidelines to help them portray Kaitlyn’s search for love in a way that doesn’t hearken back to the Victorian era: 9. Viall was smitten with the former Assistant District Attorney (he sent her a letter after the defeat!), but raised eyebrows when he talked about their fantasy suite sexcapades during After the Final Rose.

Sure.” (As if anyone were watching for anything else.) Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe (“so nervous”) and bachelorette Britt Nilsson (“so excited”) were very adamant in repeated cutaways that they were very different women. And when they stepped out of their respective limos, the men greeted the women separately, resulting in thrown shade and further cutaways of Kaitlyn and Britt as different people, discussing their differences to camera. Being sexual does not make you a bad person. (Repeat this again 100 times.) You can check out our future episodes of Here To Make Friends and other HuffPost Podcasts on The Huffington Post’s Sound Cloud page.

Once they were inside, it was all the men could talk about, too, and they quickly concluded that the split between the men who preferred one woman to the other (because of their differences) was very narrow—probably why they had two bachelorettes, they concluded. Ryan M.’s crimes were (in no particular order): asking aloud, “Is this the gay Bachelor?”; telling Canadian sex coach Shawn E., who arrived in a car filled with water (a “car pool”) that the car “sucks”; informing Shawn E. that he, like his car, also sucked; drinking Fireball on the rocks; declaring he was “all horned up right now”; taking his pants off and getting in the pool; telling Shawn E. that he sucked, again; drunkenly trashing the voting room; grabbing Britt’s face for a kiss; telling Kaitlyn she was “Ryan approved”; slapping Kaitlyn’s rear end; referring to the women as “a couple of hoes”; and responding to the (reasonable) question, “Why are you taking your shirt off right now?” with: “The question is: Why am I not raping you right now?” Chris Harrison eventually sent him home—but not, it should be noted, because he had done all the things listed above. But if you do, see if he has a brother? #TheBachelorette,” she joked. “If Ryan Gosling and Calvin Harris miraculously had a baby….#ShawnB #TheBachelorette.” Rather, Harrison sent Ryan M. packing because he was “clearly not here for either of these girls or for sincere reasons.” Which, while probably true, seems like a pathetic reality-TV non-reason and, more egregiously, not any of the other reasons for which he really deserved to be sent home.

I had just been through such a roller coaster of a night, there were so many conversations and emotions happening, I couldn’t comprehend doing another cocktail party and then having my first rose ceremony. With the votes cast, and 24 hours of programming passed, it emerged that Kaitlyn won out—but by a slim majority. “I don’t know if that makes it better or worse,” Britt said on hearing how close she’d come.

She was grateful, she said, to have met the men, but she now almost wished she hadn’t. “I’m so confused,” she cried, perhaps realizing there was no other woman immediately close by against whom she could directly contrast herself. On hearing that Kaitlyn had been chosen, singer-songwriter Brady was cast into inner turmoil and, at the rose ceremony, finally removed himself from the running in favour of asking Chris Harrison to put him in touch with Britt. “My heart is with the woman who left a couple of hours ago,” Brady told Kaitlyn. “Life’s too short,” he decided. And yet, while Idol eventually suffered from exhaustion, there seems to be an entirely inexhaustible pool of folks willing to sign up to try their hand at love on The Bachelor and Bachelorette and, possibly, an even bigger lot who will watch them (mostly) fail. The thing reality TV has always been able to achieve is some semblance of interactivity, either almost literally (casting votes, as in American Idol), or through the documentary-style cutaway interviews that mimic a one-on-one interview in which the viewer is asking the questions.

We may or may not want to learn to be a better singer, but chances are, we do want to learn to be better at human relationships—either observing them or taking part in them. They make us feel like experts, and not just at the beginning, as American Idol did when it allowed us to backseat-judge the auditions, but all the way through. And if you’re ready for a wild ride full of heartbreak, tears, A LOT of laughs, more than a few crazy surprises (like when a certain someone shows up out of nowhere!) and most importantly love, then I hope you will stick with me on this journey.

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