Epic meltdown and crazy moments from ‘The Bachelorette’

26 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

Bachelorette recap: Fighting for love.

So Daniel, Justin, Jared, Corey, Tanner, Kupah, Ben H. and Ben Z. were asked on a group date and learned the true meaning of “hit like a girl” when they got trained by boxing champion Laila Ali. First, the cliche about the men fighting for Kaitlyn’s love was taken to an extreme when participants on the first group date were forced to box each other.

Up against Big Ben Z in a boxing date on The Bachelorette — and ceding 55 pounds and two inches — he took one on the chin, literally, and ended up in the hospital.We may have appreciated JJ’s dirty puck joke upon meeting Kaitlyn last week, but that was only because it mirrored her opening joke to Chris last season.After fighting for the title of Bachelorette last week, Kaitlyn Bristowe faced her first week of dates and quickly got comfortable in her new leading role with her new group of guys. But it was the men who began to self-destruct under the pressure this week. “Boxing is a lot like relationships,” undefeated professional boxer/daughter of Muhammad, Laila Ali said while training the fellas for the ring.

Then the episode ended with implied violence when Kupah was shown getting agitated with a producer, leading Kaitlyn to fear he was going to hit the crew member and a “To be continued” on the screen. However, Kupah’s “I just want to know if we actually have a connection” breakdown was a lot more understandable than JJ’s conscious decision to be the official a—hole of the house. Take this exchange between comedian Amy Schumer, who was brought in to help coach the guys, and J.J., a 32-year-old former investment banker from Denver.

After hinting to the guys that it will “end with a ring,” Kaitlyn invited world-renowned boxer Laila Ali to find a way to relate reality show relationships to organized punching, and then encouraged all the men to literally fight each other in order to win Kaitlyn’s heart. J.J: “I have so many ideas that come to my mind … Sometimes I feel like I’m too smart for 90 per cent of the audience and it gets me in trouble 90 per cent of the time.” “J.J.’s a sweetheart, he’s just missing, like, charisma and humility and a sense of humour, but other than that basically you should hire him as the next Bachelor,” she said. “Maybe when he sees himself on the show he’ll reflect a little bit and not be such a turd.” Maybe he’ll reflect on that. While we’re on the subject of implied violence, how many of the guys do you think wanted to slap JJ in his smarmy face after he acted like a jerk at the cocktail party?

Big tough guy Ben brought out his soft side by talking about losing his mother, and Jared managed to come back from the hospital just to steal a second and one hot kiss with Kaitlyn. Even out of the pool, the two never seemed to come up for air and remained lip-locked throughout the rest of the evening. “This may be the best first date I’ve ever had in my life,” Kaitlyn boasted. A seemingly respectable decision unless you’re JJ, who decided he needed exactly no new friends and swooped Kaitlyn up before any other guys had a chance. As anticipated, we got to check in with Bachelorette wannabe Britt and her suitor Brady, who left in last Tuesday’s episode so he could pursue Britt. That prompted her to break into giggles, saying she thought it was something people only say in movies. “I say it all the time,” he said, before confiding how happy he was to be there, with her. “If you weren’t the Bachelorette, I’d still do my best to pursue you.

After an awkward altercation, the confident Canadian cutie just wasn’t having it and she decided to send him home even before the rose ceremony. “I don’t want to go home. After getting a glimpse of Brady and Britt chatting in her hotel room, we had to wait until the end credits rolled to see Brady ask Britt . . . to be his girl. I don’t know how I’d do it, but I’d try.” I think we all finished the episode wishing J.J. had been on the other date, and he’d been the one to take the punch instead of Jared. Our hope is that Chris Harrison actually keeps all the photos (remember the wedding shoot from Bachelor in Paradise?) and uses them to adorn the walls of his prayer room. It takes focus, discipline, commitment and when I heard you guys were trying to win this woman’s heart I want to see how much heart you have.” The guys also exercised their flirtation muscles exchanging pleasantries with Kaitlyn, all except for Kupah, who was star-struck by Ali and completely absorbed by his workout.

Kaitlyn said she was “genuinely concerned” about Jared, although that didn’t stop her from getting cosy with the guy who cleaned his clock at the group date cocktail party. If I get my face messed up, Kaitlyn might send me home.”) The funniest moment of the episode took place away from the stage, in the mansion, with the guys repeatedly knocking on walls or counters prompting Justin to repeatedly run to the front door to see who was there. Honestly, Amy Schumer is a national treasure, and we now would like to demand a show in which Amy Schumer makes fun of average guys who think they can do stand-up comedy, because that was heavenly. Nothing could compete with that sad story when it came to the date rose; not Justin and his 3-year-old son Aurelius (poor kid with that name); not Jared summoning Kaitlyn outside with a note on his way back from hospital and interrupting his ordered bed rest long enough to plant a big juicy smooch on her. The fact that Amy managed to sit there and simply tell him he was wrong without punching him in the face or at least putting a hand over his mouth and going “shhhhh” speaks great volumes about how much of a class act Amy Schumer truly is.

Date No. 2 with Clint: Architectural engineer Clint may have his drawing ability to thank for his alone time with Kaitlyn. “Any man who draws Chris Harrison on a triceratops deserves a one-on-one date,” she said. Tony — who used the improv stage to talk about, well, we’re not sure what: peace? love? a life purpose? —may be hiding another side. “Tony’s a neat guy,” J.J. said. “You have this peaceful creature that’s all about giving and life. And then, on the evening portion of the date, Kaitlyn gave Clint a rose and told him he brought out “a romantic side in me,” which meant yet more kissing. “I would say Clint passed this test of chemistry with flying colours,” she said. “I’ve got three categories of Clint kissing.

In terms of the comedy that was happening, Chris the Dentist—who seems to be going by the name of Cupcake, which we’re fine with—actually killed with a set about how he’s not funny, and for that we’d like to congratulate him. He was into Britt initially — and even slipped and called Kaitlyn Britt this week — but was then suddenly smitten. “I’ve determined that you’re like a combination lock instead of a key turn,” he told her as she looked unsurely at the camera. “Once you figure out the combination the door opens and there is gold inside.

After railing against the boxing date — “It’s always a competition, but it should never lead to actual fisticuffs” — he worried the contestants weren’t paying attention to their reason for being there, namely love. What we could create together is beyond our imagination.” Or Kupah, who took time during the cocktail party to talk to Kaitlyn about whether she actually felt anything for him.

Love, he said, is “not something that you fight for,” which makes you think he’s never watched the show. “What I need to see tomorrow to determine whether or not Kaitlyn and I can begin the possibility of building a relationship together is openness,” Tony said.” I suspect an open mic night wasn’t the openness he had in mind, but that’s what he and the other guys got. She claims she does, but he’s got questions, and she’s offended that he’s questioning her, and he’s offended that she’s offended, and he overreacts to the point where we’re completely unsure of what he’s even mad about anymore.

He got just a couple of polite chuckles when he said, “I don’t normally drink and I’m half tanked right now.” Sadly, JJ’s talk about his 3-year-old daughter sucked Kaitlyn into giving him the rose as well as a kiss. When he finally leaves, he’s not a fan of the traditional exit interview and seems like he’s about to use some of his newfound boxing skills with one of the producers.

Kaitlyn, during her own interview, sees this happening, and goes to find out what’s going on, and that’s when another giant “To Be Continued” assaults our screens.

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