‘Bachelorette’ Recap: Kaitlyn Bristowe Is Chosen, Britt Nilsson Is Sent Home

21 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘The Bachelorette’ recap: Already getting hot and heavy.

Love without rose ceremonies? Episode two jumps right into where we left off — at the mansion with Britt, the girl who gives free hugs on Hollywood Boulevard, and Kaitlyn, who told Prince Farming he could “plow the f— out of her field anytime.” They are spending the final minutes of alone time with the suitors, hoping to woo them and impress them enough to vote for one of them to be this season’s Bachelorette.

We’ve always known that there’s a gendered double standard between the Bachelor and Bachelorette, but never more so than on the Bachelorette Season 11 premiere.The first thing Kaitlyn Bristowe did when she learned the guys had voted for her rather than Britt Nilsson was to call her mom. “Mom,” she said, sounding like a little girl. “I’m the Bachelorette.” Say what you will about Kaitlyn, the 29-year-old dance instructor from Vancouver, but she speaks her mind.

Britt Nilsson lost her chance at being the Bachelorette on Tuesday, May 19, when season 11’s group of 25 men opted to vie for Kaitlyn Bristowe’s heart. Things get exciting when Chris Harrison pulls Britt outside and tells her in his best Ryan Seacrest voice that she’s not going to be the Bachelorette. It’s a lesson imparted not once, but twice by the nationally televised heartbreak of undeniably gorgeous, perpetually crying (if not always showered) Britt Nilsson, whose reality show love journey was cut short tonight by a roomful of bohunk suitors who instead chose to woo wise-cracking Kaitlyn Bristowe as the main paramour on this special season of The Bachelorette. Britt looks genuinely surprised and in response, Chris tells her the vote was “very close” which seems comparable to telling the kid that sat on the side of the field during a soccer match eating grass that, “you still get a participation ribbon” for being there. Brady Toops, a singer-songwriter from Nashville, walked out partway through Kaitlyn’s first rose ceremony, telling her, “My heart is with the woman who left a couple of hours ago.” As the credits rolled, we saw Brady walking into a hotel and preparing to knock on Britt’s door, which means this isn’t the last we’ll see of their showmance.

Nilsson, 27, stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Tuesday night after she was eliminated from The Bachelorette, dishing on her rough goodbye and her potential romantic future. If Britt and Brady become a real couple (they’ve got alliteration going for them, anyway), Britt’s path to love will have been easier than Kaitlyn’s. Well, the best part of episode 2 may have been the normally cheesy lookahead to the rest of the season, which typically features tears, drama and more tears. She sounded off on the tricky, somewhat cruel way that host Chris Harrison informed her that she was leaving the show, recalling his quote of, “I counted the votes. The season highlights reel showed plenty of drama to come (plus Amy Schumer!), including kissing, kissing and more kissing, professions of jealousy, confrontations that look like they could get physical and Kaitlyn confessing she had sex with someone.

She gives the same tearful speech every girl who has ever been sent home in “The Bachelor” limo gives and tells us that she is confused, exhausted from being alone and that her only life dream is to be a wife and mother. One by one, they seemed to go straight for the 27-year-old California waitress who lists her biggest fear as “being into someone who isn’t into me,” making her extra brave for going on a show like this. As a rule, I avoid spoilers like the plague, but I did happen to see a tweet that said the guy Kaitlyn bonked was Andi Dorfman castoff Nick Viall, who we know is going to join the cast and at the very least get in some serious smooches with Kaitlyn. He was the runner-up in Andi Dorfman’s season, who broke one of those unwritten rules of the show on After the Final Rose by asking Andi why she’d slept with him if she wasn’t going to choose him. Britt, unfortunately, you are not the Bachelorette.” “[It was] very misleading, wasn’t it?” the California waitress said of Harrison’s word choice. “Oh I get it — watching it back, I was like, ‘That is a more interesting way to watch it.'” “I was shocked,” Nilsson continued. “I really was.

Yet another got deep, wondering if “a simple attraction toward someone” caused you to miss out on someone down the road, hinting that while Britt was the type of girl who may give you a boner, Kaitlyn was the wife material that would give you babies. You’re gonna be the Bachelorette.” Kaityln tells us this is “hands down the best moment of my life” as though she’s just won the lottery and a trip around the world with Tim Riggins, not like she has to spend upwards of nine-to-12 weeks with a frat house mansion full of fitness enthusiasts who may or may not be thinking about another woman during dates. And so it was revealed tonight, as more men dropped their roses into Kaitlyn’s wooden box, making her our full-time Bachelorette. #TeamKaitlyn cheers rang out through the land. “Kaitlyn’s definitely the best fit for the Bachelorette,” Sean B., one of what feels like an endless number of personal trainers and a Ryan Gosling look-alike, told producers.

On Tuesday, Kaitlyn adjusted to the news that the men had voted her in as Bachelorette by laughing, crying, feeling guilty, feeling like she was going to throw up and calling her mom. “OK, go and meet our future son-in-law,” said mom adorably as Kaitlyn prepared to greet her prospective beaux. I did like some of these guys, there were a few.” While she hit it off with multiple men on the season premiere, one contestant in particular took it upon himself to fight for her heart. Kupah, who voted for Britt, whom he called “a trophy wife,” had no shame about taking up some of Kaitlyn’s valuable time and sucking up by complimenting her for stepping outside her comfort zone. And now there was “only one drinking fountain and we all must stand in the same line.” Ex-investment banker JJ, another Britt voter, was reassured when Kaitlyn told him the fact he had a 3-year-old daughter made him more attractive to her. Kaitlyn’s first task as the Bachelorette, for example, wasn’t just deciding which guys she liked — but which guys were actually there for her. “Most of them could be here for me, but there could be quite a few guys who were here for Britt who could stand up at any time and say, hey, I’m out,” she said.

After playing the clip, host marveled, “Did he find you?” Hesitating to answer, Nilsson finally confessed, “Uh, I mean, yeah… in my hotel room, crying.” “I guess Chris Harrison felt bad about having let me go, so, he gave Brady my [hotel room number],” she continued. “It is pretty smooth, it’s very gentlemanly. Obviously Ian, who looks like the guy who was sleeping with Olivia Pope before she found out he tried to kill Scott Foley, and told Kaitlyn he would make sure she was the Bachelorette, was the most thrilled. Most of them, though, just used the same lines they’d used on Britt earlier. “I’m so excited you’re the Bachelorette,” they said. “I’m here for you.” There was kissing, natch, although it was a bit of a surprise to see dentist Chris — aka the Cupcake guy — get the first kiss.

Jonathan, the pool boy from “Legally Blonde,” is just as angry as he was when Elle Woods outed him and won the trial, and Brady, one of many singer-songwriters from Nashville does not hold back with his achy-breaky heart. Finally, Joshua, the industrial welder, gets some one-on-one time with Kaitlyn, and spits some industrial welder game by giving her a rose that he welded for her. Tony, the #TeamBritt “healer” with an unexplained black eye, expressed disappointment with Kaitlyn’s win: like “we are all thirsty” and living it up for the same water fountain, he said.

Finally, it was time for the rose ceremony and blooms went to Chris, Ben H., JJ, Joe, Kupah, Daniel, Ryan B. (not to be confused with drunk Ryan M., whom Harrison sent home), Joshua, Tony, Clint, Corey, Jonathan, Cory, Ben Z., Tanner, Ian, Justin and Jared. Kaitlyn gave her first impression rose to Shawn B., which we pretty much knew would happen as soon as he walked out of the limo with his Ryan Gosling looks and personal trainer body and caused both ladies to swoon.

Despite the widespread panic from half the mansion’s inhabitants, instead of immediately breaking them up into groups of those who chose her and “all others,” Kaitlyn graciously allows herself to be pulled aside by guys from both camps. At this point, I say out loud to myself, that I would like for Tony and Ashley S. from Prince Farming’s season to marry each other after a crazy season of “Bachelor in Paradise.” After thinking about what that would look like for a few, we go back to Jared, “Love Man,” confessing to Kaitlyn that he was there for Britt but he could come around and fall for her.

This makes me feel like that time I caught an ex texting some girl whose name had a random “y” in the middle of it about how he was looking forward to seeing her. Kaitlyn notes her season’s quest: “Now that Britt is gone I need to figure out if everyone’s here for me,” as the men who picked Britt decide that they will love Kaitlyn now. Kaitlyn appreciated his honesty; Britt will no doubt appreciate learning someone liked her that much; and aspiring country music artists everywhere will probably appreciate that one of their own — let’s say it together — was “there for the right reasons.” Remember Wes Hayden from Jillian Harris’s season? She’ll dive hand-in-hand with them into a number of bodies of water and she’ll canoodle as suns set, all of which will inspire the show’s typical male response: violent jealousy. “I’m gonna fucking kill you,” one guy says, and seems to mean it. My first prediction, as it’s too early to talk about who will make hometown dates is that there will be an episode where Brady and Britt return in some capacity as a couple.

From what I can tell, there is some sex before the fantasy suite, the return of a former Bachelorette contestant who seems to make it pretty far into the season, an appearance from Amy Schumer, and a lot of tears.

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