‘Bachelorette’: ‘Brokeback Bachelors’ JJ & Clint Took Naked Showers Together …

29 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

The premise of the show has always been insane. But this is the first time that even the producers seem to have stopped believing in it..

The Bachelor franchise has outlived many other dating shows by avoiding being easily pegged as a vehicle for cheap objectification. The men, JJ Lane and Clint Arlis, are currently competing on the dating show to win the heart of Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe, but have now been dubbed “Brokeback Bachelors”, thanks to a misleading promo spruiking next week’s episode. Yes, it’s romance in a highly artificial environment, but romance is all about artificiality—we all engage in it every time we plan a “perfect” date, be it a first date or a 10th date or a “date night” with our spouse.

Clint admits in the clip, “Falling in love with a man never crossed my mind.” The 27-year-old architectural engineer then says that he and JJ have “grown very close to each other in the shower.” But TMZ is reporting the promo for the reality series is nothing but a shameless publicity stunt to boost ratings and that the competing male suitors are definitely straight as arrows. We all sometimes nurture the hope that the magic of love at first sight under ideal circumstances—the alluring eye contact with a “perfect” stranger—can blossom into something real.

The blokes have certainly been enjoying the extra attention following Monday night’s episode and have both taken to social media to address the homosexual suggestions. We all know someone it’s happened to, and we long to see it happen on TV, even though it usually doesn’t (given the dismal record of marriages produced by the show). He captioned the pic: “The Maroon Bells / Aspen just isn’t the same without Clint @turtleconvertible #BrokebackBachelor #MissYouClint #Aspen #FormerInvestmentBanker @tanner_tolbert.” It’s shaping up to be a dramatic 11th season of the US dating show. Everyone on the season premiere was aware of how much it sucked and repeatedly talked about how it sucked as much as they could without openly dissing the producers.

According to TMZ, both of the guys are “straight as arrows” and ”nothing gay ever happened;” rather, the whole thing is a publicity stunt that the guys were more than happy to partake in. As one of the bachelors points out, taking two people who dealt with rejection last season and having them immediately deal with the possibility of rejection again feels a little cruel. The whole reason The Bachelor has, historically, come off as less gross than storied American traditions in female objectification like, say, the Miss America pageant is that at least the latter pretends not to be about some kind of empirical ranking of men and women as desirable mates. The casting gimmick whereby this year’s Bachelorette is always one of last year’s runners-up on The Bachelor underscores this—last year’s “loser” gets to be this year’s prize, because being rejected by last year’s Bachelor doesn’t mean there aren’t 25 other guys who want you.

The worst thing about seventh-grade dances is a bunch of guys standing around talking about which one of two girls they would rather bang when those two girls are standing across the room. The producers ham-fistedly finagled the episode to make Kaitlyn look like “the underdog,” showing scene after scene of her looking downcast while watching guys hug Britt, playing quotes from her about how “Britt is a first-impressions kind of gal, and I’m the kind who takes longer” and “I know when people think of the Bachelorette they don’t think of some edgy loud girl from Canada.” This is all obviously designed to make you feel bad for Kaitlyn and want her to win. The spunky “wild” girl who curses out loud and tells dirty jokes but is still really conventionally attractive is exactly what America wants to see—anyone who’s ever watched a movie knows that. The elephant in the room: For the guys who are #TeamBritt, including Tony’s weird, over-earnest instant head-over-heels magnetic attraction to the “energy pulsating from Britt’s [ballot] box” in the voting room, what would happen when Kaitlyn won?

Isn’t changing your preferences based on who wins the ballot count fundamentally contrary to the spirit of the show, which wants to convince us that love is untransferrable? I do give him props for this, except I kind of don’t, because abandoning a studio-financed vacation in an opulent mansion for a girl he’s known for a matter of hours does not, in fact, make sense.

Then, of course, the show breaks its own rules again when Brady ducks out of the spotlight by bringing the spotlight with him, as the camera crew follows him to Britt’s hotel. The show is so determined to prove that it magically bestows love that it has revealed just how arbitrary (i.e., a guy you never chose to date shows up at your hotel room) falling in love can actually be. As producers have been forced to deal with contestants who grew up watching The Bachelor and are thus well-versed enough in the show’s rules to game the system, they have concocted more and more elaborate twists in order to mix things up.

As skeptical as I am about the prospect of seeking true love through luxurious, exotic dream dates, I’m willing to believe if the producers will pretend to believe in it, too.

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