‘Bachelorette’ Britt Nilsson Opens Up About Being Sent Home

21 May 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

‘The Bachelorette’ recap: Already getting hot and heavy.

Episode two jumps right into where we left off — at the mansion with Britt, the girl who gives free hugs on Hollywood Boulevard, and Kaitlyn, who told Prince Farming he could “plow the f— out of her field anytime.” They are spending the final minutes of alone time with the suitors, hoping to woo them and impress them enough to vote for one of them to be this season’s Bachelorette.We’ve always known that there’s a gendered double standard between the Bachelor and Bachelorette, but never more so than on the Bachelorette Season 11 premiere.

Things get exciting when Chris Harrison pulls Britt outside and tells her in his best Ryan Seacrest voice that she’s not going to be the Bachelorette. It’s a lesson imparted not once, but twice by the nationally televised heartbreak of undeniably gorgeous, perpetually crying (if not always showered) Britt Nilsson, whose reality show love journey was cut short tonight by a roomful of bohunk suitors who instead chose to woo wise-cracking Kaitlyn Bristowe as the main paramour on this special season of The Bachelorette. Britt looks genuinely surprised and in response, Chris tells her the vote was “very close” which seems comparable to telling the kid that sat on the side of the field during a soccer match eating grass that, “you still get a participation ribbon” for being there. For the first time in the show’s history, two women were forced to compete for the immediate affections of the 25 contestants—a vision doomed from the start after one of the “most eligible” men in the country got wasted on tumblers of Fireball and sexually harassed Kaitlyn because he was “all horned up.” Quality of the men notwithstanding, and despite almost unanimous consent over Britt being the hotter of the two, the gaggle of men with made-up professions (amateur sex coach among them) went with Kaitlyn, the 29-year-old dance instructor who they apparently saw as the safe, more appropriate choice. Brady Toops, a singer-songwriter from Nashville, walked out partway through Kaitlyn’s first rose ceremony, telling her, “My heart is with the woman who left a couple of hours ago.” As the credits rolled, we saw Brady walking into a hotel and preparing to knock on Britt’s door, which means this isn’t the last we’ll see of their showmance.

If Britt and Brady become a real couple (they’ve got alliteration going for them, anyway), Britt’s path to love will have been easier than Kaitlyn’s. The season highlights reel showed plenty of drama to come (plus Amy Schumer!), including kissing, kissing and more kissing, professions of jealousy, confrontations that look like they could get physical and Kaitlyn confessing she had sex with someone. She gives the same tearful speech every girl who has ever been sent home in “The Bachelor” limo gives and tells us that she is confused, exhausted from being alone and that her only life dream is to be a wife and mother. One by one, they seemed to go straight for the 27-year-old California waitress who lists her biggest fear as “being into someone who isn’t into me,” making her extra brave for going on a show like this.

As a rule, I avoid spoilers like the plague, but I did happen to see a tweet that said the guy Kaitlyn bonked was Andi Dorfman castoff Nick Viall, who we know is going to join the cast and at the very least get in some serious smooches with Kaitlyn. Yet another got deep, wondering if “a simple attraction toward someone” caused you to miss out on someone down the road, hinting that while Britt was the type of girl who may give you a boner, Kaitlyn was the wife material that would give you babies.

You’re gonna be the Bachelorette.” Kaityln tells us this is “hands down the best moment of my life” as though she’s just won the lottery and a trip around the world with Tim Riggins, not like she has to spend upwards of nine-to-12 weeks with a frat house mansion full of fitness enthusiasts who may or may not be thinking about another woman during dates. And so it was revealed tonight, as more men dropped their roses into Kaitlyn’s wooden box, making her our full-time Bachelorette. #TeamKaitlyn cheers rang out through the land. “Kaitlyn’s definitely the best fit for the Bachelorette,” Sean B., one of what feels like an endless number of personal trainers and a Ryan Gosling look-alike, told producers. On Tuesday, Kaitlyn adjusted to the news that the men had voted her in as Bachelorette by laughing, crying, feeling guilty, feeling like she was going to throw up and calling her mom. “OK, go and meet our future son-in-law,” said mom adorably as Kaitlyn prepared to greet her prospective beaux. After asking if she can go back to the mansion to tell everyone, Chris reminds her that she has a rose ceremony to prepare for, which is part of the “job” as the Bachelorette and I Google to see how many past Bachelorettes have “former Bachelorette” as their job title. Kupah, who voted for Britt, whom he called “a trophy wife,” had no shame about taking up some of Kaitlyn’s valuable time and sucking up by complimenting her for stepping outside her comfort zone.

And now there was “only one drinking fountain and we all must stand in the same line.” Ex-investment banker JJ, another Britt voter, was reassured when Kaitlyn told him the fact he had a 3-year-old daughter made him more attractive to her. Obviously Ian, who looks like the guy who was sleeping with Olivia Pope before she found out he tried to kill Scott Foley, and told Kaitlyn he would make sure she was the Bachelorette, was the most thrilled. Jonathan, the pool boy from “Legally Blonde,” is just as angry as he was when Elle Woods outed him and won the trial, and Brady, one of many singer-songwriters from Nashville does not hold back with his achy-breaky heart. Finally, Joshua, the industrial welder, gets some one-on-one time with Kaitlyn, and spits some industrial welder game by giving her a rose that he welded for her.

Tony, the #TeamBritt “healer” with an unexplained black eye, expressed disappointment with Kaitlyn’s win: like “we are all thirsty” and living it up for the same water fountain, he said. Finally, it was time for the rose ceremony and blooms went to Chris, Ben H., JJ, Joe, Kupah, Daniel, Ryan B. (not to be confused with drunk Ryan M., whom Harrison sent home), Joshua, Tony, Clint, Corey, Jonathan, Cory, Ben Z., Tanner, Ian, Justin and Jared. Despite the widespread panic from half the mansion’s inhabitants, instead of immediately breaking them up into groups of those who chose her and “all others,” Kaitlyn graciously allows herself to be pulled aside by guys from both camps.

This makes me feel like that time I caught an ex texting some girl whose name had a random “y” in the middle of it about how he was looking forward to seeing her. Kaitlyn notes her season’s quest: “Now that Britt is gone I need to figure out if everyone’s here for me,” as the men who picked Britt decide that they will love Kaitlyn now. She’ll dive hand-in-hand with them into a number of bodies of water and she’ll canoodle as suns set, all of which will inspire the show’s typical male response: violent jealousy. “I’m gonna fucking kill you,” one guy says, and seems to mean it. We also learn that Nick Viall, supervillain of Andi Dorfman’s season, returns, successfully, if the pressed-against-door make out session is any indication. Though we know that most of the contestants have sex on the show, this particular sex apparently happens outside of the walls and agreed-upon rules of the fantasy suite and as such, the men go wild with anger and storm off while Kaitlyn cries and cries.

My first prediction, as it’s too early to talk about who will make hometown dates is that there will be an episode where Brady and Britt return in some capacity as a couple.

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